musings

I drank two cokes yesterday, that is double the usual....and caffeine actually works on me. When I was 20, I could not get enough. I probably drank six a day. Now I drink two cokes and I wake up at 4am.
So i got up and looked up the passages in Titus about teaching younger women to love their husbands and children and to be busy at home. Yeah, maybe some women don't like busy at home...I know I used to feel positively crushed by staying at home. I wanted to GO and DO and BE....and this week? Ha! I want to stay home in my room and only venture out through computing. The long trip to Mississippi wore me out. Perhaps I was still creeping after the long LONG flights home with the endless layovers and longing for that elusive rested energetic vitality.
Staying home has been difficult for me. Penelope and Oliver have somehow made a difference and I'm thankful for it! but even when I stay home contentedly, I feel pressured to go out and do something important so i am not wasting my life but redeeming the time. A life is such a precious gift, strength is such a precious gift. when I am really listless, God has a chance to whisper to me. He can get through to me when I am satiated from my endless intercessions and declarations and petitions--and just worn out.
He speaks beautiful things. and He corrects me. and I listen. and I love Him.
Better is one day in His courts than thousands elsewhere.
One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.
All of my fountains are in you!
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my life and my portion forever.
Hallelujah!