22 feels like 8

drove up into the cold after a great time with the N's. No time to write, just to say I am here to pack up and go home. This place is small so it seems as though a move would be easy, but it does take so much thought.

brought a friend with me, makes it fun.

excited to see K/M coming up on Thursday--hope we get to visit DT together.

have had a chance to put more pics on MySpace. weird medium. hoping to get a comment from N.

My baby S has not been feeling good AGAIN. I'm not happy about it. Not sure what I need to do. All those headaches and stomach aches. I'm praying for her and will be home soon.

Bless the Lord, He is good. I feel the abundance. I'm pleased.

staying home today

Today I was going to head up to LR to stay with C and then on to the conference tomorrow. Instead, I am staying home today and going to drive straight through to the conference tomorrow--about 11 hours.

S came in and got in bed this morning. She had a terrible headache all night. I also slept VERY poorly, alternating between too cold and too hot. Mainly I was too cold and when I put on a hat, socks and pillow over my head I would get overheated. But the overhead fan is too much for me and not enough for Mr.

I suppose I am questioning if I should go to the conference. I desire to go and I desire to stay and I don't know which is better. But I think it is better to stay and so I might. Yet I will miss the conference and all the neat people there --all the ideas. I will regret it. So I should go. Waffling. Hmph.

working hard on the ireland tickets for spring break has been a pain in the (body part) EYE! (head, arm, leg, foot, ear)

I guess everyone is going to Ireland. And everyone is coming home. The flights are all booked and we want 6 tickets on one flight and at a low price. ha ha.

but we've got some on hold at Dillards Travel. Mr is calling about that now.

trying to coordinate with K about going up North to get the stuff in the apartment. M wants to go but she cannot take a Monday off. So we have to fly up on a Thursday, pack up on Friday and leave on Saturday? kind of hard. but maybe.

I was trying to make the dates be across Friday feb 2 so I could go to the HDSP party at my advisor's home. should be great fun. I'll miss that too.

If I went to the conference and the party, that would be a nice ending.

I'm not worrying about the future right now. I know I want to keep going to school and that I would like to get a phd and teach. I am still young (always young!) and I'm not dead, so maybe there will be an opportunity.

If I want to use my GRE scores, which are very decent, then I have to enroll somewhere by Fall of 2009. I took the GRE in August 2004 and the scores are only good for five years. I'm not taking that thing again unless I feel desperate or something.

There's a job as an academic advisor at where L goes to school--I wish I'd hear from them about S. There is the MA in counseling where I got my undergraduate. Mr is going to check about jobs at his company---but it is far from his reach of influence. I'd like to work in orientation there or in training. but I'd miss academia. I love being in the school environment...particularly where I was. There was always interesting things to attend, far more than you could ever take in.

Those are my main thoughts. I checked on tuition remission at L's university and you have to work there for five years before you get that. You get it for yourself within one year, but only 20% off children's or spouse's education, but then 40% 2nd year, 60 % 3rd year, something like that. It seemed to stay that no tuition remission benefits begin until after 1 year, so maybe when they say 20% 1st year, they really mean 1st year of elgibility which is 2nd year employment.

More later.

ALL FIXED

These are my "know all about it" culligan water friends. M came over and explained the molecular activity of the resin. It's a chemical reaction (i'm probably describing it wrong) where the calcium binds to these granules as the hard water flows through them. Over time they wear out so they need to be recharged with sodium. Something in the water softener broke and the resin came spilling out into the plumbing. It is safe and harmless--HOORAY! and we just had to flush out all the faucets and such.

THANKS M! WAY TO GO! (really appreciate these guys!)

HELP please identify problem if you recognize this...

Not sure what this stuff is.

Is it granular like sugar except that it doesn't melt into the water. it is in the cold pipe but not the hot water. It has no smell. It is just like the stuff in a coke icey in appearance.

Little piggy

My S is dissecting little piggys. ouch to the little piggy.

I'm at home in texas. nice.

lots of details to attend to.

and in a few days another long drive to memphis for a conference.

checked out MySpace of s and her friends. enlightening, discouraging, not too bad. but didn't like s's photos and didn't like one girl's photos of her and her friends always drinking. she's not 21.

gotta go shower. miss my schoolwork--NOT.

I'll try and post later, my heart is just not in it!

Ed and Anita Nenonen

My friends....I've known E since 1986!! That would be 20 years! He used to work delivering Pizzas at our pizza delivery restaurant--Pizza Express. At the time, he was so depressed wondering what God was doing having him deliver pizzas when he'd gotten his masters in divinity. But HEY! We're in the KINGDOM NOW!

and so all things work together. E remembers me in my pre-Jesus days (ouch!). A met me after I got saved when I visited their church in 1988. Long time ago, eh?

But I went to visit them since they are in the southern part of my school state. Since I will be returning to Texas, I felt it was imperative that I visit them. I had a glorious weekend of fellowship!

Saturday A took me to a youth basketball game where she gave her testimony. Their daughter B also went to a different one. I was like....wow, what a thing to do on a saturday morning. they get up to go give their testimonies! and to think that they do this at a secular event. It was an interesting phenomenon to me. Curious. Blessed!

Then we went to visit her friend J, who does flowers for weddings. I loved her of course! We ate at Tequilas (minus the tequila) and then went and looked at her wedding books full of flower arrangement ideas. OHHHHHH delightful.

Then we went and picked up daughter R and headed over to the bridal shop to look at bridesmaids gowns----OOOOOOOO! super fun.

then that night we (E, A, B, and me) to the Watermark Concert!!!! GOSH I WAS IN HEAVEN! First this boy they know, who is only 13 and goes to their church, opened with 2 worship songs, one was "I can only imagine" Amy Grant sings that, but it may be a regular song that lots of people sing, I heard someone else sing it too. Then he sang another common song and he sang the "Selah" version---I have their worship CD with the song--"You Lift Me Up" and I think some american idol singer sang it too. OH MAN, he was good. He's won some awards and was in nashville, maybe to do a recording? Lord bless him. I met his mom at church on Sunday. Reminded me of best buddy CT. (Love ya honey!)

Then there was a guy, John Cox, and it was good. Then Watermark. She was pregnant with number 3! Woo Hoo! Dead crowd, though, they would clap with a fury that said they loved it, but no one raised their hands or stood up. Every now and then someone would. I didn't stand but I had at least one hand in the air most of the time worshipping. I wanted to hold up a lighter at the end. B told me these days you use a cell phone----but I didn't bring mine, rats.

oh, i'm too tired to go on! must go to bed. tomorrow I'll tell more except that I talk to my advisor tomorrow to tell him I'm going home. I do have a replacement for his team, however, CS would love to work with him and is afraid he doesn't want her, but he will after I talk to him! :-)

God loves me and I love Him---what a bargain!

watching tv again

Watching "all the kings men" about Huey Long in Louisiana. Lived in Louisiana once...didn't like it. Corruption. Trying to do good by doing it badly.

I downloaded my readings for one of the courses. I got a book in the mail for another course, but it is the book that I don't need this week. I hope the OTHER book comes tomorrow! There were several packages in the mailbox area on the first floor today. Several Amazon.com boxes. Other students like me in the building. Supposedly there are several MBA students in the complex.

I'm going down to the southern portion of the state where my friend A.N. lives. I get to see her Grandbaby! Yes, my friends having grandbabies, imagine that. I won't be going until Mr gets into town in Texas. He arrives at 8:30 on Friday morning. K and M will go pick him up and take him to breakfast. Wish I were going. But I'll be going to see A.N. and I'll go to church with them on Sunday where E.N. pastors.

Somehow I'll read all my stuff in the meantime and come back here on Sunday or Monday. Can't decide. Depends on how much I can get done while I'm there. If they are able to put me somewhere that I am able to read and concentrate, I might stay longer. It will be nice not to be alone. It is so hard not being at home with S, she is stressing out. It makes me stressed out just worrying about it. But Mr will be there, that gives me a measure of peace. He's been gone from home for 2 weeks and it is just too much for S. She's used to us being there and maybe she's not ready to be independent. I don't believe children NEED to be independent until they are about 25. If they CHOOSE to be independent before that, so be it. But we've still been there to cover for K. We want to see them get a degree. Now that he's got that job, it is nearly as good. If he can do a good job over the next year, the experience will get his foot in the door for many years. Oh how Mr and I wished for the foot in the door when we were young! and we had no connections.

But the world is different for our children.

Steve told me about Mississippi Burning. I read that book when I moved to Texas and took a History course. YEP, I had to move to TEXAS to learn Mississippi history. When I took MS. History in the 10th grade---NO ONE mentioned ANYTHING about the civil rights movement. Neither did I learn about it in American History even though we went from Native Americans to the President at that time! (it was 1981).
In fact, I took Civics in Louisiana in 1979 (?) in the 9th grade from an African American Teacher ---but I don't remember learning anything about it then either! (but in that course, it may have been that I wasn't paying attention, so no valid argument about it).

okay, it is almost 1am. and I am awake. Haven't even gotten ready for bed. But I am not sleeping too well, so it is hard to just head there. but I'll do it anyway. I am able to fall asleep good enough, but it is a crazy sort of sleep with such frequent wakefulness, doesn't seem right. I'll read some of my Field Method text reading and that should be good and enjoyable.

Good night. I pray we all sleep well in the Love and Grace of God.

trying to watch another video

Cold here.

It is something like 24 feels like 17....I checked the home temp---it was 40 degrees feels like 40, clear with a full moon (and I suppose the moon is the same in both places, eh?)

Trying to watch Agnes of God, never seen it, but dang, can't get the subtitles on. I can read a movie better than just watch it.

I also got "All the Kings Men" about Huey Pierce Long, the famous Louisianna Gov.

and 13 conversations about one thing. Seems like an interesting piece. (the lady at Blockbuster squealed, "OH it's got my boyfriend in it!" meaning mathew McConaughey. I was at Frye's (an electronics store) with Mr and watching the giant tvs just to see what was on them. I thought I recognized Matthew McC in this scene where he is running with a gun and acting like he is tough guy. Now, my baby S tells me that he IS a tough guy (when I criticized him she set me straight. Glad she wasn't there to see me laugh at him on the screen). But with the sound down, it LOOKED like acting.

I call it bad acting when you are not drawn into the story but rather notice that they are acting. Now in the old days, you had to really suspend reality and use your imagination for the special effects in Star Trek. But today, well.....I saw Lord of the Rings and didn't Gollum LOOK real? You don't even remember he is fake! (creepy) and the elf princess, ah, so pretty and ethereal.

But not McC! So I had a good laugh. I'm not sure I've ever seen him acting, but it seems to me I might have and that he was good enough. He is nice looking and that always works well for actors. Folks around Texas (central parts anyway) are prone to like him.

As for school, I got plenty of homework for this week. My soc-bio class is deep with heavy readings----but the child development course. Whoa Bessie! It is intense. With about 10 weekly scientific journal articles of around 25 pages each----and we will be having a 2 hour final exam!

If I lived through Econ, though, I can live through this (I have not received my grade for econ yet, though, since I turned in my paper after Christmas---it is still incomplete on my transcript). In fact, since I enjoyed many facets of Econ, I am bound to love this. I LOVE child development research. I did seriously consider going that direction for my PhD program---and I still COULD because this program is multidisciplinary and I could do anything I wanted to do (within reason).

It's midnight.

tomorrow is the viewing of 49UP and then discussion in the faculty lounge of the library (OH COOL!) I' ve totally loved the discussions of this past week. Brain candy all the time. (and sometimes brain sledge hammer, but that's okay!)

32 feels like 21

The sky is overcast, but there is usually enough sun here.

I am not motivated. Motivation is one of the interesting things about humans..their motivations--which are sometimes obvious, sometimes obscure---sometimes both for varying situations.

I am tired, I guess. Tired of working up all the effort. I suppose by human comparison, I am perhaps lazy. Lazy in certain areas, because I can be very tense and aggressive at times. And very determined. But I think I want the easy life after a few great years of work. This is what I really wanted--I wanted to get a PhD and teach in the University. That much I am SURE of. It is right up there with other things I am sure that I like.......MBTI, China, Pregnant Moms, Jesus (not in that order!)

I wish I could have this in my hometown! What a fun world THAT would be---because it is mondo cool here (is that even a phrase?). I mean, big time cool. I will undoubtedly long for it. But I am longing for home in such a great way, I will simply have to find my contentment there. Contentment? I am rarely "content". The Bible encourages us to be content in every circumstance (well, Paul says that he is, whether well fed or hungry, rich or poor in Philippians--that he's learned that, so maybe I can learn it too).

It is just that I like complexity in life. Home life doesn't lend itself to complexity, dishes and bathrooms are SO MUNDANE!!!

But what I have seen here is that I am so simple by comparison to them. Not simple totally, I just mean that I am more easily satisfied than they are whereas in church, I usually feel so much more complex than many others (not all by any means! I love my complex friends).

I am an ENFP conservative Christian almost fundamentalist evangelical (rather liberal and feminist for that designation). I am a Wife and Mother and altruistic to some degree. I enjoy intellectual stimulation and abhore manual labor unless I am sure it is helpful to someone. I am extroverted (already said that) and that mediates my neuroticism to a great degree (helps me be optimistic E which negates the pessimism of N).

I'm about to have to explain myself a million times over. I am concerned how my boss will take it. I am sad that he's invested in me and I will be leaving. I will be sure to find out if there is any way I can work for him in Texas! I would like to continue doing interviews and coding the transcripts. I would like to continue on with his work somehow. He is so interesting and I enjoy his work! He's a regular guy, too, not just an ego.

Mr is happy, though. He's happy that I've come to a definite end. He found it very hard not to try to persuade me to come home, but rather to support me when I was traumatized and encourage me to keep working at it (as he knew I wanted him to do even though I felt hopeless at times).

I'm happy to go home. I'll enjoy the conference, the broadway show, the movie night (wed) and the party (feb 2), but beyond that ....I wish I could just go now! But I managed to make it and will continue to work here until the proper time. Maybe I can get my blood pressure back down again!

Happy

Have I used this picture yet?

I have definitely decided on going home. I know, I know. Some people will be disappointed in me, but I am the one that must live my life.

I can deal with my own misery (well, half-heartedly anyway) but worrying about S, my baby.....that gets tough. As long as she and Mr are doing well than I my angst is limited to self.

But if I am spreading angst around--that gets to me.

I feel that the time is too long. Even now that I've made a firm decision (I will have to keep the program from talking me out of it), I hate to wait until March.

I have to give 60 days notice and it costs me two months penalty. As if I haven't cost my family enough already! But this was a chance of a lifetime and worth every penny. To decline or to refuse to try would be the antithesis of life! We MUST try and we must move forward. I'm thankful that I have choices. I'm thankful that I had this opportunity.

But it does make me miserable to be away from home. And it is making S miserable too. She's there by herself so much! My mom is there, but she stays up in her rooms. And even when Mr is there---well, three introverts in the house do not make for much livelihood!

I am sad to see how simple I can be. To my church friends, I suppose I am complex and liberal and ambitious. To the people here, I am simple, conservative and mild. It is a whole different world. Sometimes I LOVE that--and other times it is uncomfortable--but I do love the stimulation of all these ideas floating around. AND getting to dispute them ....something I have not really done because I just was able to start thinking critically last week!

I have so many fun things coming up.

On Jan 10th the F forum gets together to watch "7up" or "49up" ...I watched "35up" which is a documentary about a group of seven year olds from 1958 or something. Maybe 1957. They are just a year older than my brother, I think.

A journalist chose them at age 7 from a range of social classes in London. He's gone back to film them every seven years. Great longitudinal stuff!

We'll watch it and then eat deli sandwiches and discuss.
Sometime else this month, we go to a broadway play and then out to dinner to discuss! Then on the 24-27th is the Personality and Social Psychology APA conference. WOO HOO! And I get to go as my advisors student---which is very prestigious.

Then on Feb 2nd, there is a party at his house for the whole department and spouses (or intimate consorts, he said).
Then I go home on Feb 7-11.
Then my family all comes here March 12 + for a few days for Spring Break. K will bring M, L will bring G and S will bring a girlfriend E. (we aren't bringing boyfriend E). Girls will be in one hotel room, boys in another. But Mr will take them around, plus they can go explore. We'll have two big guys with them all if Mr isn't there---and three if he is.
They should have fun.
I'll be finishing so I can't be sure what will happen.

Then I'll move out in March. (sniff sniff)
but I think it is the right thing to do. I do not feel I can sustain this length of time away from home no matter what. I don't want to live a single life here....I'm decidedly a family girl. But it has been fun and tormenting in a dramatic interesting way.
I am so past the worst,
but also.....I think the loneliness part is about to get bad....so I've been watching TV. Citizen Kane last night while Mr went to bed.

He arrived last night 3 and a half hours late due to plane trouble in Ireland. We took D to a nice Hotel in my suburb and we went to an elegant restaurant. Then home and Mr crashed right away. He hadn't really slept in a couple of days. He had gotten some sleep, but not nearly enough. It's more than 10 hours since we got home and he's still asleep.

I got him to unpack and I've washed all his clothes and hung them. I am not ironing because he might wait until he gets to Brazil (they leave today for Brazil) and I also don't do a good enough job for him anyway. He likes a military press or something. Very intense ironing. I just get the wrinkles out and make all the seams smooth.
I'll take them to Bob Chin's crab house and then to the airport. Mr is exhausted, I hope this long sleep does him good. He doesn't sleep well apart from me and I guess I don't really sleep well ANYWHERE! But I've learned a lot about myself. (and some of it is good)

How to be happy and well rather than sad and sick

Seven ways to predict how well you will age Researcher George Vaillant and his colleagues at Harvard University Health Services have found seven predictors, which are at least partly under personal control, and, if adhered to before age 50, can lead to good physical and mental health at ages 70, 80, and older. Some of them are old news, things like quitting smoking, exercising regularly, and not abusing alcohol. Others turn out to be surprises. For example, education trumps money and social prestige as a route to health and happiness. The other controllable predictors are marriage stability, weight, and coping mechanisms. Uncontrollable factors that affect successful aging include parents' social class, family cohesion, longevity of ancestors, and childhood temperament. However, by age 70, these factors are no longer important. High cholesterol before age 50 also loses importance after a 70th birthday.

Read full story (Harvard University Gazette, 6/7/2001)
Email this story to a friend

Born into Brothels

Wow. Just finished watching this. Very heavy. I didn't cry until the very last scene, but it is heart wrenching.

Having been to India, all the sights and sounds were familiar. The music was familiar. It is a complex culture (I suppose they all are at some level).

Definitely makes me want to go to India (but no, because the food is so distasteful to me---but I could afford to hire a cook) or China and open a school. I could do it. Like an orphanage, but more like a boarding school.

I checked on my lease today because I'd like to get home. My S baby is having stress symptoms and it is hard on me being away from her and with Mr in Dublin then going to Brazil....well...I hate it!

and I had the greatest day today. We had a meeting with the people that work with my advisor. A fellow came over from a nearby school. He was doing longitudinal work with a cohort from the Murray Center. The Harvard Study. The men are 60 now. and he went back and followed up with 41 in depth.

Then a certain number of us went to lunch together and had the most divine (well, maybe not the right word)....a very intellectual discussion. SO COOL! It is what I love.

and my homework was so cool. I was reading about qualitative research and the history of it across the last century. All the best words in there about subjective experience and lived history and phenomenology and epistemology and post-modern (I'm not always that big on post-modern--depends), existential (love that except for the godless part which I don't think has to be a defining concept within the term).

BUT

in order to get out of my lease, I will have 2 months rent as a penalty, must give 60 days notice and must pay back any reduction in rent they gave me (I may have had a small reduction).

So 2 months is $3000!!! Nah....won't be going anywhere soon. I guess I'll have to live out the lease. But it will end up with an extra 2 months charge ANYWAY because I won't be here over the summer.

I doubt that Mr will be feeling that generous especially since my whopper loans will all come due and who knows if I can find a job that I like with just a bachelors (but I could try working some reasonable job because I have a few skills).

I love this world here and I think if I had Mr here and my children, I would flourish. So I may go ahead and try for some lesser program close to home. We'll see. But I do hate to give up the academic environment! (I suppose I could go work as a secretary at a college---horrors! I hate that).

But the girls in the red light district. They need help.

max

my mom's sweet little kitty-catty.

since embryonic cells differentiate in new environments, why not study using chimpanzee embryonic stem cells? It would be less controversial and supposedly we are 99% like them. Yes, that one percent accounts for huge differences, but embryonic cells are great at presto-chango. I'd be willing to try it if it didn't include my brain.....say for a hand or a bone or skin.

Sweetie

Chinese Artists

Father and Son by Zhang Xiaogang

The market for Chinese art is soaring, according to NYT.

I think I'm going to check out NPR.
(checked---boring)

I'm downloading a podcast from Joyce Meyers ministries.
I used to enjoy her when she was still sorta raw. She was from a rough background and she was so real. Now she's gotten a bit ....I don't know.....she's more of a regular churchy preacher in the limelight now. Sort of like artists or musicians that have such edgy artsy stuff and then when they become famous...well they just don't have that angst edge that really gave them their flavor.

But hey, I rejoice that joyce is free and I want to see where she's at now and I am thankful she is always speaking to the women to come up higher, don't be bogged down. She's definitely part feminist. Pro-female. More on her if I ever end up listening.

Met a girl --Jennifer Trowbridge who is going to email me about guitars for people with pudgy hands. She's a music graduate who was at the copy store, like me, buying graduate course materials. We struck up a conversation.
Actually, I started talking to her on accident--more out of reflex. We headed into the store at the same time, but I had been there talking to Laura and trying to get her off the phone so I could go stand in line without yelling in everyone's ears. She headed in ahead of me, I was upset about it, she noticed and let me go ahead, and I said, "I've been standing there trying to get off the phone with my daughter and four people have already gotten in front of me!" So then she said, "and I almost got a ticket so I had to go put in another quarter." so I wanted to say, "My daughter just got a speeding ticket --but that would be dumb. But I think she saw that I was ABOUT to talk, and so she said something else. and she kept up the conversation from there (so nice to see chatty people are still in the world--Brenda and Laura and Christa are all I have--well Debbie, hooray! and Allison if I would ever remember to call her).

okay, no joyce meyers. the darn thing is STILL loading and I have to get back to reading. Maybe I'll figure out when she's on the radio. I have to use distractions that are stimulating but don't require READING!

Blessings.

The Walrus

Yes, I know. You've already SEEN the Walrus. But it is so cute that I had to put it up. ( I accidently typed "hate" instead of "had" ---do you suppose I secretly hate this photo? Nah...)

Today I got my first syllabus in my email inbox. I was pumped. I was ready. I was up for it.

Several hours later, I am only on the second article! and wading through slowly. It is a 1983 article on genotype affecting or causing a selection of environments which affects development. It takes plenty of dictionary.com and slow reading. Dang it.

But hey, I'm optimistic! I can do it! God is with me! and I'm now used to being slow and not so stellar. I don't want to lower my standards, but if I expect to get through---they gotta go down.

I have some FANTASTIC news! S is going to begin dating E!!! Hooray for E!!!

Now I have K/M, L/G, and S/E---I am ONE HAPPY MOMMY!!! I love this younguns. I definitely am welcoming these three children into my family. My quiver is full (biblical reference). I can't wait to see the man in N's future. I don't ever see her.....but I will in a couple of years. She turned 16 on Dec 20th.

I'm making a photo book for her family. I know her mother values photos very very much and of course she'll want to see her nephew and neices---so I'll send one when I get a chance. I was able to fill one with pictures today, but not titles to the photos. Her family does not get the emails from Kodak Gallery, so I send them in different ways.

Oh I could say so much more, but I won't. I'll get back to work. I'm trying to watch America's next top model marathon on VH1 through the slingbox which sends a signal from the TV in our Texas upstairs weight room TV. But something is interferring, so I can only listen. But it is a replay of a series I watched before, so I know the girl who is going to win. I know the last few girls. One of them (third place) is going to marry the middle brother of the Brady Bunch (we'll now she's married but when the show was filmed, she was no one and now she's still gotten a big contract and I see her in magazines even though she was third).

Blessings!

Proud of these little guys

okay, so they aren't little.

Happy New Year!

what a nice way to begin!
My older two children have some quality friendships and my youngest is preparing to graduate and hopefully, she'll head off to Baylor U.

Baylor is 41st in colleges in the nation. I read a ranking of my university is 14th. So I say we are all about fours and ones (usually we are about threes and ones as in God is three in one, but okay we're talking education not religion)

K and M went to a wedding in Spring. how cute is that....."Spring" as a city name? I love it. Very romantic.
Mr is being very very good and we're getting along quite well. Poor guy. I berate him all day, it seems. He got used to going without my direction and well, I'm quite liberal with suggestions. I DO try to be tolerant and patient. horrors.

I went to M's New Year's Party today! Hooray for parties! I love em. I got mr to go with me. God rewarded him. The football game was on. My professor came and they chatted sports. Horrors.
but I chatted with a pregnant mom with two boys already and a third on the way. She's due Thursday or she'll be induced. Her sister came to stay with her since she usually delivers in her 38th week, but here she is at 40 weeks and the sister had to return to work.
Horrors.

Yet in spite of all these horrors, there is only an abundance of rejoicing!

and I am back at school with a will to win and a determination to succeed and a prayer that my attitude will make it through a week or more!
I am going to watch TV and try to make phone calls.
I am going to ignore myself when I misplace, drop, lose, can't find, forget dates, come in late, etc.
Mr blows those things off, I get even MORE uptight.......its not gonna happen.
I am going to speak Southern and enjoy myself.
I am going to love and encourage others and stop thinking of the impression I am making.
I am going to let myself end sentences with prepositions when I want to.
I will still make sure I am careful when emailing colleagues (we all know how quick to type i can be!)
I will pray every morning and every night MYSELF VERBALLY ( I often skip the morning prayer or let Mr pray for us in the evening and count it as my prayer too)

Notice there isn't anything about health in there. No exercising or dieting---however, I will be flossing and rinsing with listerine. I will love myself fat and see if that helps. The most important thing is stress relief and so I don't want to get so uptight about what I eat and if I'm exercising.

and I'm really so happy right now.

and I bought some art at the Armadillo bazaar and I'm so happy with it. I have some art on art.com in the cart along with a couple of books at Amazon and a trip home on expedia. I hope to buy all of that later.

I missed seeing two friends and I plan to try to see them sometime later.

But I loved the parties of the season! It made me feel GREAT! and normal. and happy. and loved.

so I'm trying to plan my travel for the year. and I'm rejoicing in all the GREAT things that have happened in my family!
We had such a rough time last Valentine's but oh how far we've all come. How hard we've all worked and how thoroughly we have loved.

Blessings to all.....