DIFFICULT MOOD!!!!

Today is not so good! Started the day eating cookies. (L lectured me when I got home. "Mom! Do you know how bad for you those are? Mom! You used all your points! Mom! You cannot use food for comfort!"..........."L! I know! Leave me alone!") But I DID want to eat them. I personally do not regret it. But others are not going to be pleased since I am tracking my food for the world. (they were quite good).

Today I have to write my paper. It is due tomorrow. I have already gotten my grade. An "A" which should have been a B, except that I took it graciously and offered to rewrite my paper for the experience, which led her to bump me over. BUT NOW IS THE FOLLOW THROUGH. Gee, I wish I had not GOTTEN any credit for offering to re-write, because then I could just say, "Oh, forget it. I am not up to that now." but no. I have to write. It's a matter of integrity. God help me! I have to fashion a literature review out of my head today! I am not up to this.

I've had such a nice time NOT doing things. And anyway, I should not be surprised by the nasty mood, it is typical of me when writing. Often.
and besides. I always eat horrendously when I write. For comfort. For consolation, for energy, for brain power, for encouragement. All of this. (which is why I am fat).

Well, do something ELSE, Stephanie! The chanting goes. Find other ways to relax. I can do that. But how can I find other ways to endure? How can I find other ways to .....whatever this is..........?

I went to a 10 am appt with MB on the other side of town. 27 miles away I tell ya. He was not there. I reached into my purse for my cell. It was not there. I was on the 10th floor of a tall building way on the other side of town, in a hall by myself outside of a locked door standing there. Where did I leave my phone? How can I call him? Maybe he is just late? Maybe he is still sick? Maybe he forgot? How to know?

So I just said, Okay, forget it. I'll leave a post-it note and be done with it. I am going shopping. (supposed to write my paper) so I went to Dillards, obstensively to look at bedding (anyone reading this noticed I used the word obstensively?? ha ha big word, I'm so smart, JK) However, the towels, furniture and yes, clothing caught my eye. So I bought some clothes. I also finally find the darn bedding I will get, but I couldn't be sure until I went to a different target to see if they had the Fieldcrest Luxury Jaquard scroll bedding so I could see it in real life instead of just web. So after Dillards I went to target and they did have it out, so I went home and compared the Dillards Nobility Dupioni Silk comforter set with the Fieldcrest online now that I've seen them both. I bought the bolster pillow to the fieldcrest set, I think it will still go with the taupe Nobility set. Now I have to get my mom to find me another sheet set like the marvelous one she gave me for Christmas. I have SEARCHED AND SEARCHED for a set like that----Nell once gave us a set from an elderly lady that she kept for who was very wealthy. They were very unattractively colored, a wierd aqua blue with a large floral oval on them, but they were the finest sheets I'd ever encountered. I figured at the time it was merely because I was not well acquainted with sheets, but no. They have been ridiculously hard to find. Mom found some somewhere! I need another set now!

So I am home with my pillows from Target and I will take Mr with me to buy the bedding stuff so he can help me carry it out. (he's terrifically handy like that! Love you honey!----he's actually been reading my blog! Big points for that!).

S has gone to speak with a manager at a tanning place. Parents of her good friend know him and he will hire her. Let's hope she does not check "criminal" again!

K is working hard with 9 hour days noon to nine (dinner break around 5). He is training Geek Squad at Best Buy. He is eating regular fast food and not exercising--he is stressed. He was supposed to read a chapter of history a day, instead he went and bought a new book of Enders Game. It IS a good book, but he'll be behind in school. After studying hours and hours for days and days, he went and took a four chapter test and made a 73----and I had been saying he was overstudying! So I don't know how that happened, but he is not studying smart. I don't know how to help him. He is too big to listen to me. He thinks he knows what is best for himself and we just have to trust that.

L is doing good, got up at 7:30 to run on the treadmill for 20 minutes before school! and then went to school on time. She works tonight so she's going to take a nap. OH, it is 2pm and I must write. I must write. I must write.

Mr is off his fast and on to eating healthy with us.
Lord hear our prayer.