Brandon

Dear Brandon,

We’re really missing you and can’t believe you are gone. I don’t know if you can hear us, but I know you exist differently now. How we wish we could see you! I know you are full of love and grace with Jesus, but how we miss you living in your body. Where Laura could see you and touch you, hear your voice, get a hug, hold you.

Your time with her was too short for us, Brandon. We wanted you to be with Laura forever. We wanted those pretty grandbabies. We knew you were perfect for her and we encouraged her to value you, because she found all she wanted in you. No one was ever good enough for Laura. She wondered if she would ever really love. How could she when her Daddy was so perfect? But she told us it was you. You were even so much like her Daddy.

Your patience seemed to have no end. Your steadfastness was amazing. Your ability to keep your head with Laura was commendable. You made her tell you what was wrong. You called her on any manipulations. You waited on her and doted on her. You made her laugh, you made her happy. We never saw Laura so consumed with anyone. She talked about you the whole time whenever she came home. She went painstakingly through recent interactions talking about the way things were going. She was talking about the future.

She told how good you were with your dog. How much you loved your parents and little brother. She told us that when she talked bad about someone, you would say, “Laura, that’s not attractive”. You made her a better person.

How we felt you would become our family. This felt natural and right to us. We were pleased and I began to brag to friends about this young man Laura had found. We felt so good about who you were. Our brief interactions together proved you to be of much character. Laura was fiercely defensive of you. She was attracted to you like a magnet. She could not stand being home and away from you. All she wanted was Brandon.

Brandon, I am so sorry you fell. We worry you were frightened, scared, or hurting consciously. We know you would never do that on purpose, that you didn’t like the edges of things yourself. You were as surprised as we are that you fell.
Brandon, if we could have saved you, we would. We would do anything to get you back. It hurts so much that we cannot control this. It doesn’t seem fair. It hurts unimaginably. You were such a great person, we wish it were not YOU that died.

We are so sorry you were hurt. How we prayed for a miracle Brandon. We don’t know why we didn’t get one. We wanted you to come through that accident alive. We thought we might get it when you went to ICU. Brandon, we thought there was hope. We were holding on. We know you were so healthy and strong that you held on to give your Dad, Mom, Chris, Laura, Brandon, and Stevo some time to prepare, but we wanted you to come through!

Brandon, I’m sorry that your head was so injured. I’m sorry that your brain was really hurt. We prayed for healing, Brandon, the only thing we could do. We stood together in love believing you would come through. Laura declared she would love you forever even paralyzed, just please, come through alive.

But it didn’t happen and we can’t bear all that we are going through. We cannot bear this heaviness, Brandon. It crushes us. We want you back. We want Laura to hold you, kiss you, be with you forever Brandon. You meant so much to so many people. We can’t see what good can come of this! We know God will work some good in it, but to us, it is so painful that there is no good. The good would have been the life lived long. We pray God help us come to an understanding and acceptance because it hurts so bad that it seems impossible.

Brandon, if you hear or see anything, know that Laura loves you forever. She loves you deeply. You were the one for her. She found in you all that she wanted. I’m so thankful that you had the last couple days in complete happiness. I’m so happy you shared that. I wanted it to go on and on. We love you Brandon. We love you through Laura with an intensity that shocks us. Your death causes strangers to cry. You are Laura’s first Love, her real love, You were to her what Steve and I are to each other. We wanted you to have a long story together.

Brandon, we wish we could bring you back. We can’t bear the pain. We miss you. You were needed here. You left too soon. I know you would never leave Laura because she tried to get rid of you and you wouldn’t let her. You told her she couldn’t leave you, and you were right. You had it so right Brandon and you understood her so much. You taught her so much. I know you hate to be parted too. Even in Heaven, perhaps you wish you could be with her here for a little while longer. But while you understand so much more now, we are left here on the earth where things are not so clear.

We are asking Jesus to help us understand. To wrap His arms around Laura and your parents, brother and friends. They need you so bad but you aren’t here now. We pray Jesus help them and comfort them, give them strength to live. They need faith to live. They need to see something good in this world. They need to be able to make it through the pain. All humanity must see death, but how cruel it comes sometimes. This fact of life seems better left unlearned.

But we will cherish the memories, Brandon. We will cherish how sweet you were, how handsome, how strong, how smart, your wonderful family, your love for them, your love for Laura, your car dancing, your insistence that she treat you right, your wisdom and character—so rare in one so young. We will cherish your life. We will cherish our thoughts of you. We will cherish every point where our lives connected. We will honor your memory forever.

Brandon, we miss you. We love you. We wanted so much. We are praying that we make it through and live in such a way that you’d be pleased with that. You won’t be forgotten.
You are still living in all these hearts. Your impact will continue on and on. You’ve changed Laura’s life in so many ways, we honor that.

Thank you, Brandon. Thank you for a life well lived. Thank you. Thank you for coming into our lives and touching it so deeply. We cannot imagine living without you, but we would never give up the memories to get away from the pain. Rather, we will walk through the pain and honor you in every way we can. You will forever be loved Brandon! You will be forever young! With love.