classes

This was class yesterday--(not the same pictures as before).

I am doing better in economics. Still can't answer the questions on my own---but I CAN follow all the logic and say what comes next. We're moving right along but the equations just trip me up.
and then in stats, the prof was making all these equations.
something like r equals standard deviations of x over standard deviations of y times x bar (mean of x's). and that part is not so hard, except that somehow I've forgotten how to get my way around the normal curve with the z scores and the chart that tells you what the percentages of numbers are on the left or right of that spot. I know I had it in my mind in spacial representation and now I cannot remember sometimes and that is the EASY part!
we're also using SPSS statistical software and I've been using minitab. I went ahead and downloaded spss onto my computer and my office one has it, but I cannot seem to work in the office.

I've gotten my new reading assignments (another inch and a half of reading like finishing a novel in a week) and a paper to write commenting on an article in the NY Times (which I do get everyday online, but it is hard to read all that!).
and three pages of stats questions and then simple economics questions and I have to go re-read two chapters in order to figure out what to do.

BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS......My advisor said I don't have to worry about doing any other research right now since I am still in transition. Whew! So that means no more coding and no more interviewing and no more contacting potential interviewees.
Hooray!
that is a load off.
because I really do want to make it here.
and just eating and sleeping seem hard.

and the first snow is coming.
I HOPE it snows.
I want to see it. Later, I will hate snow, loathe snow, curse snow .....(well, I'm not likely to curse anything and I will try to resist even if I'm tempted to start)..........but I know I will cry and whine. Shoot. I do that when it is NOT snowing, so you can count on it when I get sick of the snow.

One cool thing is that it has been a while since I have had a headache.
I'm not sure if it is the blood pressure medicine or not having the stress of mulitple people (family members) wanting this or that and me caught in the middle trying to please them all (impossible).
Here it is just me and I can drive how I want to and even though there is no one to help me cook and clean (like my special baby), I still know that I am not picking up after anyone but Lilykins (who is really not much trouble---her tail is hitting my foot right now. She sits at my feet or lays nearby).

I have the same song playing over and over on my stereo.
All my delight is in you, Lord. All of my heart, all of my strength.
(There is no one else but You, None but you. None but Jesus.
Crucified to set me free, now I live to praise your name.)

and in my car it is "Wonderful, Merciful Savior" playing over and over....sung by Selah.
Wonderful Merciful Savior,
spirit we long to embrace
you offer hope when are hearts have
hopelessly lost the way
Wonderful merciful savior
faithful redeemer and friend
who would have thought that a man could
rescue the souls of men
oh you rescue the souls of men

I'm not sure what the order is. It is such a beautiful song with deep meaning and rich voices and then it has piano slowly playing and then an orchestra comes in.....very moving and peaceful.

and as I was driving around in the mist as the temperature is dropping, I was so relaxed (because I hadn't started my homework)
and mister is at home in a golf tournament for work and having fun probably in the sun.
Here it is cloudy and has been and I'm waiting for the snow.

I'm hoping my big wool coat that I've had for 12 years will be enough. Its a monstrous wool coat with a hood and almost to my ankles. ....and big puffy sleeves. and a bit nappy. Yikes.

but now I must get to work. horrors. I am prayerful that God will show me the way. I would not do this if I thought there were no power above me because I know that I do not have this in me. I am not smart enough nor hard working enough to do this on my own. I am fearful and whiny. Only by trusting God can I put one foot in front of the other and stop looking far down the road to how much work this is.
To think of not seeing my husband for weeks and doing that for years. well, seems impossible. I can only do it step by step. Like on one of the rudolph shows that I saw as a kid......there is the cold guy who has the fire brother and their mother is mother nature.
Rudolph comes and they teach the cold guy to
"Just put one foot in front of the other and soon you'll be walking cross the flo---oo---or"
"Just put one foot in front of the other and soon you'll be walking out the dooooooor"
:-)

So I hope eventually, through the grace of the Lord and through faith in Him, that I will be putting one foot in front of the other and somehow He will provide strength until finally I am walking out the door and back home with a PhD. Could it be possible?

I pray if I fail and return home sad----that still I would glorify God for His goodness in giving me the opportunity. If I died now, I would say, be happy for me! I have achieved a dream! and I am so thankful to have been accepted here.
but since I likely won't die.....I can only hope that I will have what it takes to finish. It's a long road and a lot of work. and so I better get to it.