PICK ONE

any one of these images could represent me.

Think of them as visual analogies for what I am feeling.

I am frustrated. I do not have the social system that I require here.

I am a high maintenance girl! And then no one understands my Jesus side here.

oh woe is me.

Today I tried to do my statistics. I had reviewed the problem set and was thinking, Oh okay. This should be no problem.

Then I entered the data into SPSS (statistical software). It did not compute right. I didn't know what should be my dependents and what should be my factors and how to designate one line for males and one for females (I tried calling them 1 and 2, like I do in mini-tab).

So I can't do my stats. I need help. I'm worried I'm wearing out my cohort. I think I am the oldest, yet I am always needing help. Kind of embarrassing!

Then I went to write the paper. But as happened with economics, once I am emotionally locked up because of something (today it is the stats program that I can't get to work right---last weeks its been the economics) ---there is a spillover effect.

While I normally consider myself pretty good at writing papers, I feel paralyzed with this one. It's a 10 page paper reviewing a New York Times article. Very straight forward.

But I don't want to write. I don't want to do anything. I want to go back to sleep again.

Yesterday I slept until nearly noon. Then feel asleep around 6pm until 9pm. Then went back to bed around 11 and slept until noon today.

Seems like that should be enough sleep, but I'm still tired. I want to go home. I can't see doing this for three years. I don't know what I was thinking (actually, I was trusting God and I still should, but it seems impossible---not the trusting God part, but the managing these emotions day after day after day--and all alone).

but if I go home, it will take so LONG before I am okay with that choice. To have passed up this opportunity, well, I better not quit unless I am SURE I can't do it.

If it weren't for dumb classes, I would love this place. But classes are a big part of it. soo......we'll see.