To my horror, my computer has died. The port for the power cord is ruined. It is terrible!
I CANNOT GET TO MY EMAIL!!!
(and I don't know how to access it online through other computers)
Mr has been planning to buy me a new computer....but he wanted to buy this super-duper one because it is so cool. It would be so much more computer than I need.
We're waiting until they show up on the Dell Outlet website. But not anymore. I asked him to please consider getting one for me now.
I looked on the site (I'm on the kitchen computer) and found an XPS M1210 (that might not be right). It is for video chatting and is very small. I want Windows Media Center on there and bluetooth wireless. I want it to be light and small. I'm going to get a low priced desktop for my apartment up north.
On another note, we went to the first meeting for joining this new church. It is very odd that this will be my fourth church and the third one in this city!
But I am always wanting something my children will like, but then I get involved and stay. I am the only one who has really enjoyed our recent church. Mr said from the beginning that he didn't think it would be our home church, that it was a passing through church (or some such thing----can't remember his exact words, I thought it odd at the time, but it is true. I've stayed there because I was heads down in school and could not serve, but I wanted deep Bible teaching to make up for my minimal personal reading).
This new church is different.
It definitely makes me think that there is a time for everything. I would not be open to this church at an earlier time. They are so "NOW" and with it and technical and they do things up right. So I would have considered it excess or flaky.
But it goes like this..........................
I left my first church WAY past the right timing and way past God's timing. The whole structure was falling apart and I would not go until there were only 7 people left. Even then I didn't want to but preferred to move away (out of the city!) instead of change churches. (this tendency of mine also happens to be why I am still married. I endure in relationships). That church had given me life, they were my family, I could not easily move on. ....but everyone else had left!
My second church here was a great experience, too. But when we rose in leadership again, I was surprised to see mature Christians leaving (all for similar reasons ---which I refused to listen to). I knew that churches have trouble and leaders have weaknesses---I tend to overlook that as part of life---but then the same issue came up for me and everything I had heard turned out to be valid---that which I had brushed off as woundedness or gossip or such things. I had enjoyed the church because it had so many baby Christians, which I was more than happy to teach! The messages were not deep, but I studied daily myself. One final point however, was the lax attitude in allowing leadership opportunities to those young in the Lord. I had tried to be part of the solution, but I ended up leaving----and once you leave there---they cut you off. That was odd, but I considered that their problem--not mine--since I was not cutting them off in any way.
So, as I prepared to head back into school more heavily, I looked for a very fundamental church and found one with deep teaching. I queried the elders about the leadership process, which they assured me was very strict. Within a year or so I learned it was more than strict! It was very controlling! So I just figured, oh well, I got what I asked for. They are very picky about leadership, so picky that they leave women OUT for the most part! So I chose myself right out of service opportunities. I chose to teach Sunday school instead of lead Bible groups, I realized that I did not have to choose between church service and schoolwork---and I realized this was a blessing in disguise---and I stayed.
All the while DRAGGING my children! What I thought would be a church close to home turned out to be something they didn't enjoy. At first my daughters liked it because of the older good looking boys, but then they went off to college and moved on---it wasn't fun anymore. And the negative tone of many messages was tough for all of us.......but I stayed.
I had a great home group experience there with worshippers of like heart and other parents of teens. We shared our worries and encouraged one another profoundly.
Now that I am headed to a commuters life, I need to be sure my children will be encouraged to attend. We were in limbo about what to do---and while we were traveling around the state for volleyball tournaments and finishing up my last semester at school and dealing with the death of Brandon-----my church was falling apart. I was glad I was not there!! It is so hard to see them come unravelled. Turns out many have left, but two of my close friends still go there---J and A.
and I have many others I have cared for ---including children I taught in Sunday School (thinking of Ross in particular).
Thankfully, I was only there about once a month and I did not know what was happening. For the most part, it was not apparent. It is not anything horridly scandalous, thankfully, but it is a good time to move on and we will just appear to be part of a mass exodus.
I've decided NOT to stay longer than need be. I feel it is exactly the right time to move on. Time will tell and God will show me. I hope I've learned a thing or two.
But I really like this new church. It has a combination of the former three churches. I find that amazing. It is VERY positive--which is amazing as well. And very much The Word of God. So I am eager to join and I think this is where we will plant ourselves. I'd like to become a part of this church, a committed part---but I am moving away.
Still, I'll be BACK. Time moves on. The time will come that I am through with my education and I hope I get to work at Baylor! Maybe move to Salado on a creek.
I'll want to work with missions, teen moms, possibly marriage---but that is a tough area and I'm not always so great at it myself! Women's ministry and such. We'll see. They are growing tremendously, so the problems may work themselves out over the next few years---I really think a lot of the whole org, though, so I've started moving through all the joining things because time is short and I'll be gone and I want a family here. I'm going to a women's retreat that is "gate 3" of the five gates to leadership==with the 5th gate being invitation only. so that is good. They have some of the strictness of my most recent church with the opportunities of the first texas church. There is the positive attitude with the deep Bible teaching. They believe in the Holy Spirit, gifts and such, but that is not a direct part of the main service (that keeps things more balanced).
So, I'm optimistic, as usual, but wise enough to know that things are not always as they seem, so I enter into fellowship with eyes wide open and an ability to take care of myself and a willingness to avoid blaming others for my weaknesses. I have service to offer (although not much at this time) and I enjoy people. My daughters enjoy going (k works on sunday, didn't want to go because a pretty girl goes to the other one and he wants to see her, when he finally went, he did enjoy it).
anyway, off to prayer. I'm so thankful for blogs since I cannot email anyone. All this motor mouth and no where to put it! YIKES!
And it takes 3 to 5 days to get a computer here and it will likely be a couple days deciding on one.
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