might be coming home sooner

JULY 8 BLOG with July 6 and 7 below

TOTAL CHANGE: I may be coming home soon. Steve was supposed to come over here for a week, but now the container is still in Israel. That does give us time to finish the building a bit more--hopefully to the point of storage! I’m at the GOLF hotel blogging but the electricity is out all over town until after 5pm. Steve wants me to come home. My first reaction was no. But I feel awful today with the headache. I’ve been so eager to see him. The students so eager to see him. Oh my goodness I”d love to see him! And so the thought of staying is too hard, the thought of going makes me cry. I belong here. I am sure. I belong with Steve. I am sure. I know I belong with him first and that I will get to come back--but it is so costly in time and money. I have this headache. I always have headaches. I’m hungry for home food. They have not finished the website.





July 6 BLOG

OH, in the blog under this one, I spoke of the man who died and we went to his house. He was laid out on the bed. His young wife stood at the funeral today. Hundreds of people there. The first wife, an older woman, had left him and is married to someone else now. So this young wife is not wife number 2, she is the only wife. She got up to tell about him. As he was dying, he was in so much pain. He was groaning in horrible pain, almost incoherent coma-like with pain, when pastor Stanley came to visit him. But later, according to the wife, he called to her. She said, “He just loved us so much. He asked that I put on a light so he could look at me. I did not have a lamp, although I looked around for something, and it was dark. So I used my cell phone to just shine it on my face. And he smiled. He told me to come to him. He wanted me to lay next to him.” She went on to say how he put a leg over hers and then an arm under her and he even pulled her on top of him. and yes, she continued to tell the crowd of people laughing hysterically, he proceeded to.... well, you know what happened. He went all the way and then died. she insisted, “I have to tell you! This is how he died!” and the whole place was undone with laughter.
I just had to turn on my computer and blog such a story.
Oh but the rest of my day, not so good. I emailed my mom about it. Steve wanted a car rented. It has been a long discussion between us trying to decide on things. It has been an issue of availability and cost. He did not want to work with the guy in Nairobi of last time--he ended up worried to death when the guy had not shown up by the time Steve had to take off! Then it turned out that Budget Rental, the international organization, has left Kisumu. There was a car at the Kisumu airport, but it was not in good repair. So I settled on Budget Rental out of Nairobi and paid extra to have them drive here to me tomorrow--which Steve said I should get a car tomorrow and then pick him up on Saturday. But when I told him it was 8,600 shillings ( less than 117 a day) he was furious for a moment. He thought I was crazy. Why so high?! Why didn’t I negotiate!? He got a car tons better for that for the same amount! He got the Rav 4 for 55 dollars! What a rip off! ...........so I hit my first low moment. He knows how difficult things can be here. He knows I had no choices. It was the nairobi guy (he said no already), the kisumu car (Titus said it was in bad shape) or whatever I got from Budget --which was no longer in Kisumu!
I was upset because he wanted me to get a car early so I’d have a car, now he didn’t want the price. I’ve saved TONS OF MONEY by staying here with Titus all month long and going without a rental car. So then he was sorry but I almost cried and my mood hasn’t been as up since then. But i’m fine. God is my joy. God is with me. I can work hard here and I do not need to be praised or appreciated. There are so many problems with the NGO papers, the building, the container, trying to pay the workers.
Today the electrician was in the office. He was asking for 120,000 shillings NO WAY! The last electrician had asked 40,000, so he agreed to take that. He needed money now, but I can’t pay until friday. His workers needed food. guilt. guilt. guilt. i have money but it is for Frank to go to Nairobi and pay for the NGO. I have money coming but it is all for the container fees and transport (like $3500 IF they don’t charge us extra duty.) I don’t have anywhere to store the stuff because the building is not done. donations dropped and work slowed. We can’t pour the slab for the top of the first floor (and the floor of the second floor) because I don’t have 316,000 shillings (316 x 13 = dollars) but the stuff in the container is coming. I also need 65,000 for the mixer, 13,000 for another big water tank. Plus more for different things. Steve is sending me more in about two weeks. But I really need it all now. I really needed it all two weeks ago!!!!! so it is all late but it was the best we could do.
The students are precious. I love them. I had them give a speech today. They told Joseph later that they’ve never had an experience like that and they really know each other more now. I know them more,too. Like Jackson, who lost four family members in 2005. All of the students did excellent at speaking this time, which is a massive improvement. All but one who rambled off as she got into her emotions and told us about her problems going to school and how she ended up getting married because she couldn’t go on to college. She was just depressed at home. And one told how he got into trouble roaming the town and was suspended from school, but after that, he turned around and realized his decisions matter. Some told of how they were top in their class, top in their school, or even top in their village. They told of family members getting sick like one whose mother was in the hospital right after the baby brother was born and only a month old. She was sick in the hospital for over a month and it was the lowest time in his life. Another told of when he was in 8th or 9th grade and living with an uncle in kakamega town. His uncle disappeared without telling him. he came home from school and no one was there. he didn’t know where he’d gone. There was no food in the house and no water either. He had a long weekend and was so hungry. He went to school but he didn’t have a meal card (most of these schools don’t even have meals!) and so he hung out in the kitchen and only one cook would give him any meat. Even for a few more days the uncle did not return and he got very sick and weak. Finally he came back but it had been a terrible week for a young boy who didn’t know what was happening. Another girl told of a time her father had cut the sugar cane and there should have been 300,000 shillings earned from it and the company people came with rifles knocking on her door. She had just had her baby one week, but they came banging in the night. She prayed and went to the door. It was a terrible, horrible story about how her father was tied up and the mother told to kill the father. the whole time she was praying. In the end, they untied the father and asked him to pray for them. CRAZY. there is so much more but it was a long and terrible story. Pastor Steve told a funny story about how he was riding his motorcycle and going to meet a top medical professional for Titus. His jacket did not have a zipper so he wore it backwards while he was on the motorcycle. But he forgot he had it on backwards and went into the office with his jacket on backwards. They kicked him out! They told him not to come in so disrespectfully! He was turned away but he came back the next time looking very sharp with his shirt carefully tucked in and everything attended to. Thankfully, they had sympathy on him and welcomed him in.
There were so many stories. I just love them all the more. I think one of the girls is pregnant. She is not married. I will interview her tomorrow. She is a top programmer. There is another girl in the afternoon class that was dressed really skimpy the other day. I was discussing clothing and had her come up and I mentioned why I did not want her to wear this. I was telling her for her own good in love so that she can be successful. I was concerned about how she might take it, but really, it was a see through shirt and the bra showed openly at the low v-neck. Today, she came to class. She was dressed so professionally!!! she took out all her braids and had her hair combed back. she was dressed very professionally. Wow! what a transformation! I was so blessed! I praised her heartily.

July 7th Blog. Well, it is my friend elaine’s anniversary. They were married on 7-7, so it comes to my mind. I had a rough day. I had a migraine through the night that was killing me. I was really in pain. I’ve had neck pain since I slept at the Golf on a pillow. Last night I even had some hydrocodone to take and it didn’t help. So today I took tons of ibuprofen and drank two cokes and was just praying and praying. OUCH. So I was really brain dead and bothered. It was hard to speak. There was no way to get out of the day, so many responsibilities and they didn’t get done because I did not stay on top of them. I am still having trouble getting my team to do more than one thing at a time. Frank and Henry are multi-tasking and I have had no trouble with Henry (well, he didn’t make all the copies I needed, but I sent him for several errands.) and I need Frank to work on the website, but I have him running several other things. Walter has to handle the building oversight while Juma and Henry report to him on all they are doing. Henry coordinates most of it but Walter has the final say and then I do, too. Depends on what we’re talking about but today I okayed an electrician Titus brought in but Walter correctly sent him away and called for the engineer who told us what needed to be changed.
I shared with the students several things I was balancing and decisions I needed to make. I wanted them to pray about these things. I hope they will. I need prayer so bad. I just can’t post all my prayer needs, they go on and on. Donations is a serious one and we are seeing so few it is discouraging. We are going to have to have other sources of income. I am praying Steve can get outside contracts. But he has to work his day job! That’s what he calls Dell. it is our bread and butter and he is so busy with everything. He can really accomplish the impossible and I am so proud of him! I married him when he was nothing and he has become everything. I just love him. I just appreciate him. I’m so glad we’ve made it through 27 years! We are in our 28th year. Amazing. We are just babies. He comes on Saturday, I am so thankful.
I went to visit four orphans today to finish the interviews. I rented a car, it came today. I was brainless and in pain. We don’t have water in the house because two faucets are dripping so the solution is to turn the whole system of water to the house--off. you can’t flush. you can’t wash hands. I have many alternatives, but I prefer running water. Praise God we still have electricity. I could go to the Golf and stay but I’d rather save the money and I appreciate Titus letting me use his electricity in his house because I like the fan on in my room when I am here and I was charging things (not at all lately--I need to, but it is too hard.) and I keep the fridge on for my milk, water, and coke to be cold. I really like cold---I like it even at home in the winter!
There is so much to say! I drove the car back into the back areas today. Due to all the rain we have most days in the evening, there are huge mud areas. I got stuck briefly in one. Prayed Intensely Immediately. I don’t know HOW to drive out of those. I’ve read about it and I have been with steve doing it going back and forth, but you have to be careful or you dig yourself in. Praise God we went through. We went through some tough areas, but at one point I said, “No. We need to walk.” So we got out and walked a long way. It was not long to a Kenyan, but long to this Pflugerville girl who drives everywhere. It was hot. God gave me grace. I reminded myself what we were about. Just at the time I started thinking I was not sure if I could keep going ===only because I feared we had two or three miles to go=== we turned into a little group of houses. Bwana Asifiwe! As we headed to the house, Evelyn (pastor Joseph’s wife) slightly nervously asks me, “Can you speak to the ladies for some few minutes?” Of course I can. Oh Lord prepare me! I used my more recent preachings and sort of lumped them together in a short 15 minutes or so. But then there is another 30 minutes of thanking me, which sometimes you just want to say, Okay already. I don’t need this, I promise, I just want to go. But you know they are just so happy and loving you, that you want to love them by listening respectfully as they pour out their heart. Pastor Bernard was there. He was so thankful to Mama Medine for giving the money her church sent with her to fix his roof! He was so grateful. He was so thankful. They are thankful for Steve giving their pastor a motorcycle one year ago. Their church has been so blessed and encouraged by his visits and service. Just the whole thing is wonderful. it really is. so of course they are going to thank. and of course they love me. I really love them. I really do. I loved them from the first. They are so jubilant. So when we went in and we greeted and I saw mostly familiar faces but then some I might know and can’t remember....I asked for us to praise the Lord in song. It was great. I love it. I brought Lebinah with me from the afternoon computer class because she speaks great English and it turned out to be the Lord because Joseph needed to go with Titus and Evelyn doesn’t speak as good English as he does. But Lebinah does! so what a Godsend that I had already planned to bring her. She is a counselor at Emusanda. She works with children, youth, marriage, women. She was great. she was loving and kind. I like her. She’s friendly and talkative. She is not from this area, but she is a Luhya, so she had difficulty translating into their kind--but I appreciate her. And even the deacon was such a pleasure and a joy. and we had a great time together. They ask me to come back and I pray that I can. I want to prioritize them because I do love them so much. God has made me to love them. They were the only church I went to preach at on my first visit with Ed and Anita and I just really bonded with them as they were so huge in praise! I had so much fun! they presented the little girls dancing for me. I was in heaven! I wanted to dance with them!
Now I am waiting for some milk to be brought. I am starving. praise the Lord the ladies brought me some cookies (biscuits) while I was there and an orange soda. It helped me on the long walk back. But I knew how far I was going (even though it was uphill now and into the sunlight===hard on the face!) and so I was encouraged that I knew it was doable.
I love this place. I love even the hardships. REALLY. It is crazy. Because part of me hates them, so why do I love them. why does whiny baby stephanie like them? I just feel so fulfilled like some crazy masochist when I suffer for Jesus. It pleases me so greatly! It is like my spirit just grows and grows and my flesh dies. I love it. and I’m filled with such joy. no matter what.
i love the people, the animals, the green, the language. I hate the discomfort, the difficulty of any process, and my inadequate communication. I hate how sweaty and fat I always feel. I love how the children cry out--MAZUNGU! (muh-ZOON-GOOO) Usually, I hate to be looked at (although I do love to be listened to--and I get plenty of that---maybe that’s what I love. Not the thanks because I have to LISTEN, but i love how I get to talk all the time. except sometimes you can’t talk to someone due to language and it is so frustrating. so we smile into eyes together. nice. human connection with God behind it. yeah.) but when the children shout out to me, I LOVE IT! i love the attention from the children. seriously. I feel like snow white when the children and animals love me. Not that snow white was ever a goal of mine (the girl liked to clean, so we’re worlds apart and she was a perfectly drawn animation and I’m not) but I think I loved when she had the little birds and animals love her. so I just feel like God is in me expanding out to the children and animals when they accept me. You know, you can’t fool them. They use their senses to check you out. so i love it. I love the little chickens. the little hens. the roosters, the cows. a poor little scraggly lamb just tugged at my heart today. Oh God bless him. He needed to be de-wormed. He was looking so sad and rough. OH I wish I hadn’t even THOUGHT of him.
I presented my staff today so proud of them I cried. Seriously. I could not get a hold of myself. I was just proud of them. Praise God for sending us people. It is just love all around and everyone working together. I’m so proud of how they have worked with these students. The students have become adults in a short time. There are seven clear top students and the most top two are not so skilled at speaking, but the next five are fabulous.
Today we made an open forum to have a discussion and I bought everyone a soda. We discussed the proposed constitution and it was very interesting. The politicians generally want it and the church generally doesn’t. Since it looks like the no vote is winning, the treasury came out and said that they don’t have money to pay for the vote. (uh-oh) plus there are some terrible features to it, although much of it is good. Still, the bad could really haunt the people

MEASUREMENTS OF TOP STUDENTS: just in case any of you want to send them some clothes. Their clothes are quite tattered. But they are dressing so well, if only those clothes could be new. Boys measurements are FOOT, NECK, ARM, WAIST, INSEAM.
(Duncan: 11.5, 17, 24, 34, 30) (David; 10, 14, 23, 31, 30) (Oscar: 11.5, 15, 25, 33, 31) (Jack: 11.5, 16, 24, 33, 31) (Don: 11, 15, 24, 33, 30) ( Lawrence: 11.5, 16, 25, 33, 31) The top girl is number 2, her name is Dorcus and she’s pregnant, due in September. Her measurements were foot-10, bust 35, waist 32, hip 38 and the length of her leg from her hip to her ankle was 40.
I have three other male students and three other female students.
THURSDAY BLOG JULY 8
I have another headache. It is a tension headache in the back of my neck and it is killing me. It isn’t the crick. the crick was on the right side and deep in the muscle. This is also muscle but it is pulling all the way up over my head to my forehead. I am concerned about it turning to a throb. So far it is just a nearly unbearable ache, but enough that I can work.
A miracle occurred! A large investment check we deposited CLEARED the bank! Sometimes they hold them for 10 days or even more! It took just two or three. Praise God! I asked the students to pay yesterday. The container is coming late. We have money Steve wired earlier that will come today or tomorrow. It was for the container only. However, with a late container , perhaps I can buy concrete. The man refused to do it on credit. I wanted him to wait two weeks. Titus went by there this morning and I don’t know what occurred. I was planning to go with Henry today. But Titus called to say no, he won’t accept it. So if I can find out when the container comes, I can sort of switch the money around. But I have to be sure. They are calling the shipping line in Israel because it went through Haifa and stopped before coming here. Oh Jesus. Come through for us. You know all things. Make this work out, please.
I can go to the Golf and post this blog. It will be a long one, I know. I wish I was always able to get online and post--even add pictures each time. Then it would be fun to get online and read. when you just see pages of text--so many people just don’t have time. and of course, Stephanie is not concise! (concise is so boring, people! okay, Dad, I know my Dad likes concise.)
Today I have needed my team to sit down and fill out forms. I was not able to get them to do it without me standing over them. I am disappointed about that. However, not any of them will read this and Steve never reads this so it is just for you to know. Henry and Frank can do several things at once most of the time but Walter and Joseph are teachers and fixated on teaching and leave priorities undone to do whatever it was they were doing. I pray I can lead them into flexibility, in Jesus’ name. We really need flexibility and dependability. I must remember to tell Steve to make a numbered list whenever he has more than one thing that must be done. Then I’ll tell them to print it out and check it off. That’s how I work with Sarah and she can get more done that way. Sarah only likes to do one thing at a time. She prefers me to prioritize the list so she knows the order to work. I’ve learned to do it for her and we can learn to do it for TGD. But it is nice when you tell someone to do something and they just go and do it even though you already asked 10 things. Maybe its just being American. I don’t know. I hope not.
oh the preschool children are making horrible noises out the window! some one scream crying in a low horrible voice. Then the hilarious rooster every now and then and the cow mooing very loudly. There is the saw going now and then. Nails pounding. The hush of Kenyans speaking to each other in natural hushed tons. They make us all seem to garish and brash. I’m even thinking, brassy. I’m not exactly the picture of refinement and poise. I am way too casual and I have to wiggle. oh but I have my fan blowing. Praise God for fans. In his wisdom He has sent me fans. Steve forced the continual fan on me but it now also creates a peace in me when I can hear it. ahhhh. oh I stopped to enjoy it a minute but my neck hurts! I like how I don’t hold my stomach in when I’m here. ha ha! but I didn’t know my jowls were growing and my neck looking so soft. For years my double chin was still taut even if it was thick. not anymore! it has that baggy age look. yuck. but I do like being older. I do. You know so much stuff. I love knowing stuff!
I added new orphans. I pray we get more money to build an orphanage. I pray we are able to buy the land. I praise God for these beautiful little children. They are precious. Maybe Phanice and Violet can come work for me. They are the widows caring for the children and getting support. it is a good plan.
I miss home. I miss running water. I miss electricity. I miss good food. I miss my bed. I miss my puppies and children! I miss my privacy. I miss the internet. I miss driving on the right side of the road. I miss feeling like I have money if I need it. I miss being able to use my debit card all the time. I miss USA dollars. I miss my closet. I miss my bathtub. I miss YOU! Love and hugs! I think about so many of you and wonder what you are doing now. (usually sleeping because it is my day and your night!) How good we have it in America. So good. Praise God.