Saturday, July 10, 2010

what day is this anyway?

JULY 8, i think. It is Thursday.
a crappy thing happened. I went and told the man I wanted to buy the bags of cement for 316,000 and promised him the money was coming through by wire tomorrow (friday.) Steve called to tell me later that the wire didn’t go through. He explained some mix up at the bank but I didn’t even care about the details. WHAT? the wire did not go through. and I promised. So he wired again and it should go through and come here about Monday. Quite a bit different than Friday AND it may be Tuesday. I am working to get a new bank account with me and Henry together so he can withdraw money on his own. (I also have to type everyone’s phone number with international codes into my Iphone. horrors. I hate it.) and I’m leaving on Monday and planned to leave Shibuli by 8 am, even 7. Now I will have to be sure I can get that money out so I have to stay until AFTER 9 am! It is a long 7 hour drive through difficult roads and I’ll be driving a Rav 4 with the steering wheel on the right.
I won’t be able to practice my swahili. I will have difficulty learning new words. I will miss my Kenyan family. I will miss the landscape and all the animals. I will miss my team and my students so much. I am so blessed to have people who can see the vision and want to work for Jesus and their community. Who want to grow in the Lord and influence others for greatness. God is moving here and it is thrilling to be a part of it. I love giving out things, too. I just love to give all the time. a pair of flip flops here, a loaf of bread there, a little raincoat here, some small shillings there, coke bottles which are refundable. It is just such a joy to spread things around. I bought a watch for Anita to wear while she was here because she left home without one on accident. I was hoping to give it away as a really special gift--and then my watch battery broke. POOPY. now I feel like i need this watch. I have suffered the last several days without the watch because I could not remember where this other one was placed. but I came across it as I began considering what to jettison and what to store here for the future and what to take home.
getting tired. over and out.
OH FRIDAY WAS A HARD DAY!! PRAISE THE LORD IT IS NOW SATURDAY.
and I had a couple more cockroaches. The word for “pest” in swahili is “dudu” (pronounced DO do ) so I tell you now when I see another, i will say, “Dudu!” I came to the Golf hotel. Not because of the roaches. But I will add....one was in my room scuttling along. I managed fine. I didn’t scream. Titus is sick with Typhoid and so I didn’t scream when the giant one by his bedroom door tried running into the bathroom--where I was headed. He stood at the entrance to the bathroom. I was thinking, shoot! should I just go in and hope he goes the other way? but what if he goes in while I’m in there? I’d be trapped. I knew that this had been such a problem for me and I had even preached on overcoming fear. So I just went in. Praise God, he did not follow me. I don’t know what he did. But even as I hurried, there was a horrible flapping at the open window. They have a little window in the bathroom that is up high like shower windows. and then there is a top part to that which stays open. It was something somewhat trapped. It was giant. It was either a giant moth or another cockroach--it reminded me of that sound of a trapped thing trying to release itself and it was clearly a substantial organism by the loudness produced. I really have to control my thoughts at times like that. One outside the door, one maybe in the room with me up high. (gulp) As I went out--hooray! He was not in there! so I went in my room. I went to open my suitcase to get out a hand wipe for washing. OOPS. I startled a roach from the closet. Oh man. seriously? He ran along by my suitcase. Well, I couldn’t spray the bug killer because, again, Titus is sick with Typhoid and when I have sprayed, he sneezes over and over. He is allergic. So out of consideration, I figured I’d have to let these guys live. UGH. So I went to lay on the bed. I tried not to imagine the cockroach coming to visit me up the bedpost. I tried not to imagine if he crawled on my face. I tried to remember it would not matter if that happened. I could live through it.
I know, I know. You thought this was a blog about Kenya! and it is all about cockroaches. Well, Titus tells me that it is hard for people to believe I would be scared of such a thing because they live with them every day every where. In their coffee cups (oh God forbid.) Praise God I have not had cockroaches every day. But I’m growing in my adaptability. We must always grow. I will not say no to God. I will not go backwards. I will not be turned away. I love the people here, I love the land. I love tons of stuff here. OH my, but let me tell you that the cute little sheep that were making hilarious sheep noises last night are going to be slaughtered for food. Oh my goodness. I’m glad Sarah can not see. Steve loves lamb. I am not too fond of it. I love chicken and there will be maybe 100 chickens slaughtered, too. The Deputy Prime Minister of Kenya is coming to speak at Cornerstone! What an honor! So i am eager to see how it goes. I am eager to hear how he talks to the people. My students had a discussion, which I moderated, regarding the constitution coming up for a vote. Most of them were voting no, some were voting yes, and several were undecided. It was a good conversation about discussing facts rather than using emotional arguments that said nothing. They presented emotional arguments FOR and AGAINST that were just designed to arouse a person --and it did! I pray that each person votes in the manner they feel God would lead them and no other way. I pray that each side would understand that their opponent has good reasons to feel that way and I pray there is mutual respect. I pray that all Kenyans submit to the new law, whatever it is, and the disappointed party work on processes to improve those areas the were most passionate about.
I can’t imagine how they are paying for this. Maybe the government pays for it? maybe they sent money ahead? It is very costly--all that food.
The hard part about yesterday was the building. I don’t think I can even talk about it. I was horrified, in the first place, that the wire from USA got cancelled by wells fargo for some weird reason. It hasn’t happened before and why didn’t they tell us right away??? People were counting on that money and I’d promised it to the guy with the cement and the guy with the cement mixer. Even thinking about it, I’m not sure I want to write it all. I am so thankful to be past. but I’m upset about how much material is left over--which means someone profoundly overestimated how much sand, rock and cement we needed. Which leaves it open to disappearing. Which means i have to store things. and I don’t have a place to store anything. Building a storage COSTS. and we have only laid the slab for the first floor. I am not happy we planned to make this a future 6 story building and that the building costs are so much higher than any estimate I’ve ever been given. Now Henry Juma says it will be done in December or January. I’m telling him to close up that 1st floor so I can place the shipment in it. Henry Anjeje ( the accountant) is doing a great job, but he hasn’t built a building before. I’m tired of the costs and I am using all the money I can get out and my debit card only lets me take out 20,000 a day ($256) and I’ve done it seven times so I’ll go home broke.
Anyway, we spent all yesterday going around apologizing and trying to work out with this one how much I could give now and how much later. I went to open an account with Henry so he can access money. We watched all day as the cement mixer worked and we had to pay more for extra water even though we had tons of water---AND, something I didn’t know....they have to water that slab 3 times a day for 21 days! (how about I faint right now)--which is more costs.
I stayed out until nearly 10pm, even as pastors started arriving for an all night time of prayer. I gave Pastor Steve my prayer list of needs for TGD so they could petition God as in Phil 4:13 (maybe it is 16?.. the one about, “do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving.... look it up, it helps me.) So I continued to battle anxiety all day refusing to move from trusting the Lord but now I’m exhausted emotionally from all the daily frustrations and the lack of money. We have had to bend over backwards due to lack of money. It has grown me. I know God is trusting me with so much work and I am capable and we are achieving His goals. It is good. I’m thankful. I need His help. I need His peace. and the problems are not over but I’m here at the golf hotel on the low rate for Cornerstone people (native rate rather than visitor rate) and I’m able to go to the potty in privacy (YAY!) and there is a toilet seat here. I love toilet seats. I have not sat down most of the month. No sitting. it’s a skill. I think I need to write a toilet seat song but I don’t know what words would rhyme. Maybe I could do it without rhymes. I don’t know. It has the word, Ahhhh in it.
my sweet students were up at the church cleaning. Duncan, Lawrence, Don, and Oscar. I had them make a quick video for Steve. They forgot everything they learned because mentally they were in work clothes and they were cleaning. so darn, their skills are not evident! but i should have videoed them when they gave speeches on friday morning!!
(nice way we started the hard day) and they were awesome. I gave them all feedback and praise. they were much improved.
do you know we only pay the workers on the building about 200 shillings a day? and that is $2.50 a day. and they are thankful. we pay some young men about 600 shillings a month to watch over our supplies, which is 7.70 a month. and now that those young men are working on the building, I think they are passing out each night with fatigue.
we’ve had issues with the electricians. Thankfully, an engineer comes to check it but he’s a road engineer. The main guy came to check before we poured. praise God!
have i mentioned my plan to go home? i am in the Golf Hotel (with all the other muzungus) and I have a rental car--rav 4. I am canceling the flight from kisumu to nairobi and driving with Frank to Nairobi myself. Then I get a rebate on the car plus no driver fees for delivering and returning. The first two hours will be rough, it is the road to kisumu--BUMPY like crazy. but then the road to nairobi is supposed to be good. so no problem. Only seven hours driving. Not a problem for me, it will likely feel like 10 with those first two hours being difficult. But I can do it. The worst problem will be---where to take potty breaks? I’m not a bush girl. I can do it but I am praying for other solutions. you never know what you’ll find around bushes here!
I need a nap. Just considering yesterday, the strain of getting that building finished. the slab had to be poured all at once, I wanted it done before I left. We didn’t have the money and then even the wire didn’t come through. Plus all the other dilemmas and the interpersonal issues created by the bank problem. And I always also have people asking me for stuff. Today one person asked me to bring them a gift when I come back (they meant it.) and then another asked me to please help them get their driving license so they could work as a driver (I think it was 7000 kshs or $90.) It is difficult telling people no all the time. i’m weary from trying to get someone to do what they should be doing. I don’t like being the one correcting people or confronting people (but I can do it.) But I want to do this work. I want it to continue. I want to teach my team how to do the same things Steve and I are doing. They are doing a good job stretching and need to stretch more. me too. Stretch out and sleep. zzzzzz

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