Whew! Heard the sound of a tornado!

* AT 549 PM...A TRAINED SPOTTER REPORTED A TORNADO AND RADAR INDICATED ROTATION NEAR PARK RIDGE... MOVING EAST AT 10 MPH.
* THE TORNADO IS WILL BE NEAR... MORTON GROVE BY 600 PM NORTHFIELD BY 610 PM SKOKIE BY 615 PM WILMETTE HARBOR...WILMETTE AND WINNETKA BY 620 PM EVANSTON AND KENILWORTH BY 625 PM ROGERS PARK BY 630 PM
DO NOT WAIT UNTIL YOU HEAR OR SEE THE TORNADO. TAKE SHELTER NOW.
GO TO THE BASEMENT AND SEEK SHELTER UNDER THE STAIRS OR UNDER A HEAVY PIECE OF FURNITURE.
A TORNADO WATCH REMAINS IN EFFECT UNTIL 1100 PM FRIDAY EVENING FOR NORTHEASTERN ILLINOIS.

that is what I saw on weather.com.
First it sounded like someone was throwing rocks at my window, then it got severe. Then I heard this loud rushing sound like a train. Except it didn't sound like the Metra (I live near the metra and hear that dimly each day). Well, Dad always said, "When you hear the train coming, take cover."
so I went to weather.com and punched in my zip code.
Uh-oh
It said a tornado was spotted by ......oh man, I forgot!.....something like,....by visual or indicated by radar. Seek shelter immediately.
Well, Mr had laughed at me because I leave my keys and shoes right on the kitchen bar by the door. That way, if I must exit immediately in the night or something, I know where to go. My mother used to say to always have shoes on the floor in case we had a tornado, I would not have to step on broken glass.
So the advice of Dad and Mom became quite relevant and I grabbed my stuff, left my kitty, and went to the basement. There were actually several people there, but there was not the sign of any alarm anywhere. But I know the crowd effect is such that people will do what other people are doing.....so a tornado might be coming but if no one is taking shelter, everyone thinks they are wrong to do it or something.
I finally accosted a young asian man who had come from above (the outdoors) and he said he had not seen a tornado, but the rain had come so suddenly like a wall, wuush and he was so scared for his life! But he just wanted to get back up to his apartment. I wasn't sure where I should be just yet. I considered getting in my car, but I kept thinking of the twin towers and all those squished people (well, I suppose they disintegrated) but it made the basement safety not as comforting.
I was stressed that I could not contact Mr by phone or text. I didn't like that at all. I just wanted him to know I loved him. I wanted to text the kids, but didn't want to scare them. L would be particularly frightened if she couldn't be sure I was okay, so I didn't text because I knew I was just being a drama queen and really everything would be fine.
and sure enough.
I'm back in the apt typing on my blog.
and still have plenty of homework to do.
at least I had finished cooking my pork fried rice with egg and carrots. Yum.

My baby and her man

This is L's man and she's very happy, as you can see. She sent me some pics and so I'm scanning them and loading them onto Kodakgallery. First I've got to go to Whole Foods and get some stuff. I really really drink milk! Wow! I have gone through about 3 gallons since I got here. I just got this one the other day. but that's also cause I've had graham crackers for several meals, therefore, there must be lots of milk for dunking and drinking.

I jogged to school today. I had my MP3 player on and so I ran way too fast at first. So I didn't run the whole way. I had keys with me and they were too heavy for the pockets. I had a washcloth for sweat ---because I was going to the office and sure enough, G was there and I talked to her about the yahoo groups page where we coordinate interviews with subjects (which I get to do tomorrow). and I picked up the key to the interview room. I have to review the procedures!

It was great to get mail from C and then L today! Thanks to both of you!

Got my stats homework started. Have to write a short paper, that part should be easy enough. But there is still so much reading to do. I enjoyed the Economics of Social Policy readings. I really kind of like economics, but I don't like the math part of it. But I like the analytical side and the cause and consequences aspects. Seeing things in different ways. Very informative.

I wrote my past government teacher. We had to think about policy issues for Econ homework and so I knew to look her up at ACC and find her web page with government links. She really got into that stuff. She should go into politics, but she does enjoy teaching it....even though she knows most students take it as a required course ---and loathe it. Her enthusiasm is infectious, though, so it makes government seem cool.

Blessings to family and friends and HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my big sis!

CAMILLA IS AWESOME!!!!

I got my first real mail today! From a PERSON! Thanks Camilla! I loved it! Just when I TOUCHED it, I was totally blessed! And it kept on going even after I opened it and walked to school humming to myself.
:-)

THANKS!

Blisters

www.vonhoff.typepad.com

Okay, so I complained about blisters to many of you. (did I post on the blog about it?) but my dad sent me a site for athlete's, like runners or hikers, and it is all about foot stuff.

I thought my feet were bad, but okay, I'm feeling like a happy pansy! I am still walking and yesterday I did not even get ONE blister after walking around campus. I wore my black comfort kind of shoes, so those will be a mainstay.

I had gotten blisters on my side heel from pumps, then another one on the back of one foot and the tops of one foot's toes--also from pumps, but sort of comfort pumps (kenneth cole reaction pumps). Both those shoes have lasted all day at conferences in the past with no adverse effects. Then I even got blisters from a comfort hiking sort of shoe! One on a big toe pad and the other on the big toe but between the toe pad and the foot pad.

Those have all healed and I wore some black fave boots that have a bit of a heel but a chunky heel, so it is not wobbly or anything. They are the equivalent of wearing flats, but I'm a bit taller. They have a waffle sole and wide flat square toe box and a short part up the ankle, a bit lower than mid calf. (well, maybe they ARE midcalf, I don't know).

and it is almost midnight and all I really did today was go to the grocery store, go to my friend and cohort D's house (she lives in a fancy neighborhood and the houses were gorgeous. I crossed this little bridge and there was a marina right there! Nice! I will have to go take a picture of that.) and then I finished the certification for working with human subjects. It was hours and hours and hours long! I thought I might die, but here I am typing. I made 88% in the end. Boo Hoo, a B! I was so close.

I get to interview a subject on SATURDAY! WOW I am so excited. I probably wrote this already. So I have to review the protocol. Very exciting, I'll say. (which reminds me of martin short in some movie).

God is good all the time. I'm so blessed! Got to talk to my hubby, daughter, son, and mom online today! I sat watching over them as they ate dinner while I studied the modules and took the quizzes for certification. That is pretty cool.

Got to see the animals (manimals in baby talk) and sweet kitties are so precious! Even motz.

blessings and honor and glory and power to Jesus. It is too cool that Jesus is here in the North. Oh and it was SUCH a beautiful day! I committed it to memory!

CITI Course in The Protection of Human Research Subjects

wanna talk boring? I'm STILL trying to take this darn thing! maybe I should NOT have taken off for the summer. my brain doesn't want to kick back in on the attentional focus thingy. It's just torture for me to read through these modules! I have done 8 now and there are five left. Really, they take me AN HOUR! They say 10-15 minutes on some, or even 20-25 minutes. I think I finished ONE of them in the time they said.

and they really do test you on it, so you HAVE to pay attention. but I'm not doing too good. 87% so far. Not great! I can't believe it! I mean, you don't even have to do anything but read and then take the test, I would think I'd get 100, but they are not remembering type questions, but more like ethical scenerios where you apply it and well, sometimes I get it wrong

First official school day

Today I went to my stats class. Woo Hoo.....super duper easy. It's like a review....again, very easy. Now that doesn't mean that doing the homework won't be hard. I don't like having to do that kind of stuff. It just won't really be challenging....and I really like that, because there is so much reading! so much so much so much.

Then I went to the seminar class.
It was good. I had not finished all my reading because I got so into all the materials given to me for the research I'll be working on. I read 3 instructional papers, the protocol, the mail-in questionairre with so many instruments measuring stuff like right-wing authoritarianism, values, faith, personality....it takes about 2 hours to fill out on its own. I was trained yesterday in interviewing and that takes about 2 hours. all that was fun fun fun and interesting.
I have to get certified so I am taking a class (like defensive driving) online which may take all week, but I'll push through---monotonous.
Then I will start interviewing next week.

But in the seminar class, we talked about so much stuff that it didn't matter that I hadn't read a couple. My classmates discussed them. I didn't even discuss the half that I DID read. There were other things to comment on. It was interesting. Very long class about three hours. She talks about all this great research though. Makes you want to do ten thousand things!

Then all six of us (my first year cohort of accepted hdsp students) went to a place like an irish pub, so I had some fish and chips (when I saw the malt vinegar on the table, I said, "Woo Hoo!" there must be some fish and chips around here somewhere! and there were)

today I actually DID not get a new blister!
wow!
what a kind world we live in

but I threw everything around everywhere getting ready today in the apt.
so that I have a lot of mess to clean up.

but I have no class tomorrow!!!!


so I'll get right on the online class---oh wait, I need a stats text book. POOPY! and I'm still missing two text books.

I'll have that stats homework to do but it isn't due until Sept 28th.
there will be no midterm and the final is a take-home which we can fax in from the bahamas, he said.
and there is no class on "reading week"---whatever that is, I guess the week before finals----because there is nothing to read!

and then my seminar class does not have a final either, but a 12 page report on a faculty member (and I have YOU KNOW WHO!!)
and so we'll see about the
Economics of Social Policy Class.

Just doesn't sound inspiring, but I get excited about everything. So surely it will lift me to new heights in the area of social policy. hmmmmnnnnn. I'll keep you posted.

Nearly time for a video cam with Mr.

pictures for feelings

My pictoral montage.
although I couldn't find a picture of anyone reading ...and it is past my bedtime.
There are the serene parts of being here by myself and the stressful parts.
I really love the stressed kitty pic, though and the sleeping puppy. The knight pic is me and Mr.

Time to settle in

okay, in spite of the migraine pic, I do not have a migraine today
thanks friends for praying!

Happy Birthday on the 22nd to my big sis!

migraines

Did I put this pic on yet? when I was looking up info on migraines I found this. Pretty accurate, I say.

I am online with Mr right now. He has these effects so he can put on a pirate hat, and afro with a pick in it, a crown, a grill on his teeth like flav a flave has (I actually watched an episode of who loves flava flave the best?)

Today I have not done enough work.
I underestimated how much work the reading is.
and there is still all this cleaning to do.
I haven't vacuumed

Violence in the media

There is so much violence in media these days. I mean, look at this picture! I got it off the web....so violent. Those cats are really after each other. I think they need a conflict resolution course. Maybe a little counseling.

I walked to school today all by myself. I might be growing up. (I might not be)
I listened to my MP3 player that K helped me load songs onto.
It was interesting. It was 3/4 mile. But let me tell you, I walked much much more than that today.

I went to my building and went to my office. By the time I got there, I was already sweating! Knowing the likelihood of that, I brought a washcloth for just such occasion and made a mental note---bring small fan to dry off. I tend to sweat if I make more than 20 steps. (sometimes even beginning at 18 steps).

OH MY STUPID COMPUTER JUST LOST A COUPLE OF PARAGRAPHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and let me tell you, they were FUNNY!
but now all my humor is GONE!

to continue on a more BORING vein.....I had to walk back and forth between buildings several times. I had to get some change to buy some packets from the administrator. Then I had to get the names of the textbooks I needed and went back to purchase those. Then back to the office to put that stuff in my desk. Other people have so many valuable things in their offices, but I sort of dread putting my nice books where someone might want to take them, but I guess I'll entrust them to the Lord.

I have new blisters on my feet AGAIN! So now what will I wear tomorrow! I wore some hiking-ish sort of shoe that I often wore to school, but walking that much (maybe four miles total) was just a lot for my piggy toes. Well, it was the piggy that went to the market---I suppose the market was close whereas the campus is NOT.
So tomorrow I'll try tennis shoes, uhg. I'll look so stupid. (I generally try not to look stupid, but some days, I can't avoid it. Stupid it is).

But I'm down to total comfort shoes and STILL getting blisters and my first scabs are not even healed. This is pretty funny (it doesn't hurt THAT much).

but OH MAN,
I got to get trained for interviews which I start next week! which reminds me I have to do the online course for human subjects...........(and reminds me I have to do online defensive driving, horrors!). and I want to apply for a couple of fellowships, but I don't have a study to do myself yet. I have to spend some time thinking about that.
maybe on saturday.

Blessings to all, do not fight like cats, find peaceful ways to love one another! Be sweet!
(inside joke to cindy)

Doing Readings

I've got plenty of reading to do by tomorrow at one. Good thing it is only 5:22pm. I've already taken multiple breaks, eaten twice, and shopped online at Nordstroms--pasting a little wishlist onto a word doc.

But I've read most of what needs reading by tomorrow. I still have not gotten to much of the class readings for Tuesday. That is a big stack and on a different vein then I've been following, whereas the narrative studies on faith and politics are right down my alley.

I've been able to change the temperature of the A/C so that it reflects my preference. I am really looking forward to living within my own climate zone. I've tried to focus on all the positive parts to autonomy (and they are numerous) as a buffer against the inevitable loneliness. I'm choosing more of a stoic stance, too, rather than just letting my emotions go wild. I've learned that I am not required to feel what other people think I should be feeling and to let go of those expectations......a big one is missing your children. That was the first one I learned early on. Whereas other mothers often torture themselves with guilt about taking vacations, I was determined to enjoy myself to recharge for better mothering.....and it always worked for me. The time we dropped L off at college, however, was a shocker. It overtook me as an emotional Tsunami, mainly because I wasn't expecting to feel like that, and I cried for nearly 45 minutes straight!

With this situation, though, I easily anticipate plenty of angst and potential regret, so I am not bothering with creating any. I know that I know that I know I miss my husband and children and worry about how they will fare in my absence. I know that I know that I know that I derive much pleasure from seeing them and from involvement in their lives---they are great people and I just love interacting with them and feeling that I am doing them some good by my love and affection and encouragement. So being here all by myself working on my own stuff will undoubtedly feel horrendously selfish and misguided at times (not an inkling of that yet, though!) and not only THAT, but I am going to want some HELP! and there won't be my usual resources available.

I'm hoping the web cam works, but it hardly satisfied me concerning S. I talked to her twice.

I wanted to talk about how I met with Cindy's son on Friday night and Dani and her husband on Saturday evening, but maybe more about that later.
I went to church today, a Vineyard, and as I was worshipping (they were very low key in regards to expressiveness), one of my fellow grad students appeared beside me! I hugged her spontaneously (we were at church, I know her, and I was happy to see her) and let her in to sit on my row.
She works for my advisor and I will be working with her coding faith and politic interviews. She will extract episodes from 2 hour long interviews into discreet events such as high point memory, low point memory, turning point memory, etc.....and I will be coding those along with a newly hired research assistant. I talked to her about it on Friday when I went up to get my office key.

This is very coincidental---therefore I can only believe it must have larger implications in the scope of both my life and hers. I look forward to being able to converse freely on topics of faith!

Off to more work.
I took too long of a break.
:-)

School begins

They are teaching us so much here and my mind is already filled with new information. Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world’s population.

Good so far

Ok, so here's my place. Right now my cat is meowing oddly. Who is she calling? Not me because I just fed her and she comes right to me when she's talking to me.... Just sort of a melancholy meow to nowhere.

I'm trying to short cut a bunch of emails by blogging, but I write such different things to different people! and then I'm not showing my professors my blog because I'm way too unprofessional on here!

I did get my official website started at the university---so if you know me and are reading this blog, you likely already saw that. I'm going to add some stuff to it eventually. I've also made a "MySpace" so I can keep tabs on my daughters, but my youngest has yet to add me to her friends list. I've got to update that one too. I don't really use it though. and then I need an AOL instant messager ID. That is the sure way to talk to my youngest, who is always on there. It is not my favorite communication mode, however....you all know I prefer email. It just seems that it is never inconvenient (unless people never read their email)....and I lose touch with the phone people because I am not big on the phone. Yet there are still many people my age and just a bit younger who have not managed to get on the email train.

Mr is going home on Sunday and I believe he is getting irritable (and I am too, likely). He never likes being off work and he doesn't like being "the spouse". He jokes that maybe I'll get rich and famous and he'll retire and be the spouse. Oh ha ha. Like that would ever happen. I've told him he is not allowed to retire because it is not for everyone. There are several stories of people who retire and promptly get a heart attack or something. He would hate it that much. Therefore, work forever. Since his work is intellectual, he can do it as long as his brain cells are working. If they aren't working, well then he won't really care much, will he?

I went to the graduate school orientation on Monday. Saw my friend who is about my age. Her husband has taken a job in New York, so they have a commuter marriage too. She has a 3yr old and a 7 yr old and graduated from Princeton (must be nice). She has an Au Pair (even nicer). We're going out together with our husbands on Saturday night. They'll have much to discuss. Both international worker types. Anyway, friend and I went to lunch at this great place with Tapas. I don't know if the name was tapas, but we ordered the shrimp on skewers and the chicken on skewers----so I took Mr back there on Thursday night when we were both hungry and we had the same thing, plus a pizza and some squid. We were trying to get the beef with horseradish sauce, but no, they STILL didn't have that (bummer).

Went to Whole Foods which is near by. The bread around here costs around 4 dollars. That is odd. Water is expensive, about 1.29 a bottle average. and No Ozarka! my fave.

At the grad orientation, I learned about some services, like the psych services. I think they are free. So I will avail myself of that, plop down and whine for a half hour or hour, whatever they offer. That keeps me sane (MOST of the time)----that and email from friends! Everyone feel free to write about the dumbest aspects of life and such. I'm sure I'll love hearing about it.

Oh but this is way cool....

....I already got some great assignments! I spoke with my advisor and I am meeting with his post-doc on Monday in order to prepare to do interviews! They are around 2 hour interviews, oh my gosh, I cannot wait! It uses the life story interview format. I can send a copy if anyone wants to see it. Some of you saw it when I did some work last year but I only used four questions.

He gave me a big ole paper about this study and explained what my part will be. There will be about 90-100 interviews and then I'll be coding some of them with another girl who will get hired as a research assistant. I'm already hired in the sense that they pay me and I'm sort of expected to do 20 hours of work a week. If this is work, I can do WAY more than 20 hours! Woo Hoo!

So me an the RA (research assistant) will both code stories such as "high point" where someone explained to an interviewer a high point in their life that they remember. I'll code it for various themes and then she codes it. We'll work until our coding is very close to the same (called interrater reliability). And we get to go through one type of story at a time----like 95 high points and then maybe 95 low points!
I'm so excited about it!!!
That is exactly what I wanted to do here! Hooray!

I am also trying to sign up for classes. The stupid sign up program is not familiar to me and so I cannot tell what I am doing. There are problems on the other end, though, such as the stats class got complicated and is closed to students in my department when it usually is not. So we've got to get special permission.
All the grad classes are only open to specific students by special permission, so you need codes. I find it complicated!

Plus I had to get my school ID car and a new bank account. I haven't changed my mail yet. I have to send out address stuff to friends. I have my office and office phone---how cool is that!?!
and they are giving me a Dell computer (cool). I do not need a lap top but I still want one because I like to work somewhere other than just at a desk. This desktop is rough. I don't like sitting in one place all day---which I'll be doing soon!

and I've got loads of reading already.
about 2 to 3 inches of copies of articles to be read by Tuesday. I definitely think it is fun, but last night when I was trying to read some---I kept veering off in my mind thinking about my own relevant experiences to the writing. I mean, I read that SAME page about four times, but each time I would keep scanning the words while I went off in wonderland.

So I'm hoping it is just because it was late.

Glad I have my car here.

had considered going without a car---NO WAY! so glad I brought it! I kind of might like a bike though. One thing at a time, however, and we're not to the bike stage yet.

Blessings to all! I've been on here too long! Mr is still sleeping. We go to sleep by midnight and he sleeps until 10:30am.....it will be rough for him getting back on schedule--and he doesn't sleep well without me there.
Ignore the typos. I was just trying to put a bunch on here since some of you actually READ this thing. THANKS!

THANKS FRIENDS AND FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!

I appreciate all the thoughts and prayers! SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just went through my email (can you believe I had over 1000 in the spam folder!
I am so thankful for Norton anti-spam)

It is good to hear from you......let me know what is going on in YOUR daily life, too! I have nearly gotten my apartment all together. I've got most of the stuff on the wall. I have way too
LITTLE cabinet space, but more wall space than I expected! I could have brought a dresser
and so I will likely get one eventually.

My walls are fairly bare, but I am not too big on wall stuff.

School was great yesterday, I overdressed. I went to lunch with a friend and we walked, I was wearing heels. They are some that I can usually walk all day in, however, I am not used to the pedestrian life.
So we walked a minimum of one mile round trip, maybe more (felt like around 3 miles to this novice) and I went home with blisters.
but we had a GREAT lunch of Tapas.
we had chicken on a skewer and shrimp on a skewer and some grilled vegetables. We talked about life and husbands, etc. Went back to the graduate fair where we learned about the different services and groups available.

It was a hard drive to get here.

We drove to Sulfur Springs TX on the first day and then stopped in Little Rock, AR the next day around noon to pack up some things mom had left for me. A wood screen that had just been stored in a back corner was covered with dust. I had to work to get some of it off before we stuck it in the truck. Then we headed onto to Champagne, IL.
So we drove about 12 hours that second day starting at 8am and ending around 11pm but with a couple of stops, especially the 2 hour stop in Little Rock where we ate and cleaned up the stuff we were loading and then Mr dried his clothes in the dryer, he was soaked.

Little Lilykins made the trip so well. I was so worried about having her in hotels. I am sure that is against the law or something. I prayed that no one with allergies would end up in the room we had her in. She would meow in the early mornings and she kept trying to lay on the bed with us and by my head. That isn't normal for her, but she was on drugs.

She really tolerated the whole thing well. She would not use the litter box, even at night in the hotel. And on the third day she was scratching in the box, I was unsure what to do---it was dark out and I hated to just pull over. But then I did. It was too late, she had wet all over the place in the box. BUT it was an old towel and then newspaper under that. I just took those out and I put in a new towel I had there precisely for that purpose.
But she was very upset. As if it upset her that she lost control or something. Because although it was completely clean (it had not wet all the way through the last layer of newspaper), she still remained on the one side that had not been soiled at all and she pressed herself up against the door and stayed there.
Poor kitty. It was not her fault!

And she's been really happy here. She didn't like me vacuuming today. Not one bit.
But we've bought her a cat box with a hood over it and she's using it.

She likes to sleep in the bedroom at night when we come in here. I set her up a sweatshirt on my computer chair and she very contentely stays there all night.

We found a great chinese place already. We had take-out last night.
we found the regular grocery store (there is a whole foods within about a mile of me)
and there is a CVS fairly close.

About everything I need is within a 2 mile walk. People walk everywhere here.

My apartment is really clean!
I do NOT like having to walk all the way down the hall, down the elevator, across the huge parking garage underneath the building and then drive out-------just to do anything!
Quite different from home where you just walk into the garage and get in the car!!!!!!

Everything is so public here.

My BP is good. The meds bug me. They make my head tingle. I hate new meds.
I know they are slowing my metabolism, too, but what can I do? I have to take them. That high
BP was such a shocker!
but the doctors and nurses and techs were so nice. That was probably the most pleasant hospital experience I've ever had. I was not uncomfortable (except when I had to get that gown on! UGH!!!!) and they did the IV butterfly type thingy in my arm instead of the back of my hand. It was not painful or anything.
The doctor was very respectful of me as a person.

They wanted me to wait a day to leave, but I only waited most of the next day. To drive that far or to miss the movers appointment----THAT was WAY too stressful. So I chose rightly. and all is well.

And Mr is being so nice! (he usually is anyway) but I suspect that one of the good outcomes of that BP scare is just to keep him so kind. He normally would be so irritable during this kind of thing and would expect me to tolerate him (and I would because he is helping me and doing hard work and I appreciate it). Instead, he's been very mindful of whatever I needed and not stressing me unnecessarily. With so much happening, there is no way to get "no stress", but we have done good with "less stress" and minimizing the relational spats.

not that we are pollyanna about how difficult this will be and we're not pretending peace. We're working things out and learning new things and finding new ways to cope. It's all good. It will be hard. So far so good, though, and I know we'll continue to put forth a lot of effort for each other.

Hey, tonight House is on.
K set us up so we can stream our home TV to this place here. So Mr watched the UT game the other day. and I was glad to have some time to work undisturbed as I tried to figure out where stuff needed to go.

thanks K! You are awesome! I don't think we are ever going to find the boundary to your skills. They are ever increasing and always impressive!

Love to all, keep those prayers coming! They have been so very effective.
Try praying hard for headache relief! Body calm!
(but please keep up the prayers for peace and trust. That's where I'm at and I want to stay here with the Lord, carried by Him and blessed).

Getting settled

Tuesday---been here since Saturday and just now beginning to be close to settled. There is so much to do in a move! I haven't really moved much in the last several years. Moving from DustyLeather to Vanderbilt was hardly a move. Other than electricity and such, everything remained the same.

First things first, though. I dreamt that Cheryl called. In my dream, it was a Sunday. Cheryl was saying (very nice, sweet, and genuine sounding) that she had talked to her mom and she wanted the girls (my girls, L and S) to come stay with them for Christmas. That they had talked it all over, implying she knew it would make N want to see us more but that she was okay with it. Then she said she was on her way and would be there later to see us. It was Sunday late morning.

I am not sure if I was going to be there in the dream. In real life I have mentioned sending her a letter suggesting she come visit while I am not there. I know I was worried about how the house looked. L told me their house is decorated to the hilt. My Vanderbilt house is the first one that has ever come close to decorated and then this little apartment is a work in progress, but I am still rather simple when it comes to decoration. What I call clean and simple, others call boring and plain. Oh well. I have to live here. but I also am so willing to make do without decoration. So it leads to lack of impressiveness---just not one of my goals!

I think I am bugging Mr. with the typing. I am still stuck on a DESKTOP (the horror) and will have to work on this for a bit.
It is cold here. I've got to get more athletic type comfort warm clothes. That will be my main off-work clothing.
I had orientation. I went to lunch about a half mile away with a friend who is my age and in my program---I got a blister later in the day. Small price to pay for a great lunch!

more about all that later today.
and I will download my email==oh dread---and start working on that MAYBE.

Migraine and Blood Pressure

My blood pressure was 218 over 143. CRAZY MAN!

I would not even have known because my blood pressure monitor was already packed up.
However, I got a migraine. I never go to the doctor for migraines....I usually just lay down and use it as an opportunity for forced rest. Today I decided to go to the doctor for it and we found the astronomical numbers.

I was able to go off blood pressure medication over the summer by lowering salt intake but I have been having a great time with salty foods lately! (and upping my caffeine, oops). I intended to start back on BP meds when I started class, but I see that I should have started them up sooner.

Anyway, I really thank God that He showed us this problem. It is a very severe blood pressure, but there was no stroke, no damage to my brain, heart or kidneys. They gave me a CAT scan, blood tests (kidney) and an EKG. All very good. (In fact, the doctor said I had a very good brain. I like that!)

So it is back to low salt and various other things along with medication.

thank you so much for those I alerted by email to pray. I was blessed by your responses and phone calls and offers to help.

I appreciate you!

Crikey!

I hated to hear about the crockster heading out of this world, but he was sure a fun one! and he died doing what he loved----his daughter will lose him profoundly whereas his wife is cognizant of the risks he took and blessed that.
He died at the top of his career anyway and I think that is more fun than going at the end of a long and weary illness.

And I find it odd that I was sad for this man, but I honestly enjoyed his personality! It was a blessing to me! He did not live under fear.

And it is time for me to be bold, brave, adventurous and exhuberant! Crikey!

I'm packing up some of the last things and meditating on the love of God. I continue to know that God empowers me to do great things as I serve others and I hope that my life will continue long enough to bear fruit.
It seems to me that the investment in schooling reduces my effective ministry to others, somewhat as I am not available to carry others burdens and lighten their load. I can pray for others and that DOES lighten the load of believers, no doubt! But my practical service seems fairly non-existent to me.
While I do not believe in works whatsoever, the fact remains that works are a fruit of faith. You can examine yourself to see if you are in the faith by reviewing your actions.
Actions are love, love is action. Love in the heart is not worth much if it is not expressed (except to God who sees all and profoundly values the love in our hearts as we cherish Him).
I feel that many of my actions are selfish.

but I am thankful for Mother Theresa. The epitome of charity in our times, she made sure she took care of herself in order to give fully to others. There must be food and rest for the one who cares for the poor.
Well, I suppose I go WAY OVER just food and rest! and the more money we make, the better ways we find to spend it----and NOT including the poor.

As I begin to make some money, I will again have some measure of influence over our finances. Not that I do not have influence now....I could do whatever I chose to do....and yet I refrain at times and wait upon my partner to give. I yeild to his choices while he manages the checkbook and accounts.

but when I am out of school, I hope to return to managing our household more fully and I know I will resume support of those ministries on my heart, specifically Pastor Roy Jacobs who runs an orphanage in India and does a good work with the jungle inhabitants, the blind and the widows there. It is only $2000 to build a church in the jungle.


and I keep meaning to buy a lunch, say...at Wendy's....and then hand it to the homeless around here---but I always forget!
I've meant to bring food in the car.
but even when I have had it with me, I get embarrassed to give it.
how weird is that?
and since we're not giving regularly to the salvation army anymore, I feel more responsible to help. Jesus said we would always have the poor with us, therefore we will, but He desires that we are good to the sick and poor.

I hope to work for the salvation army up north. There is one close by! I definitely want to help in the soup kitchen. We'll see if I actually DO it.
What good is it to TALK about the good we will do? Yet that is all it comes to. Talk.

My Birthday today and Cats

This is our little kitty april, nicknamed Kippy.
We only call her kippy, or kippus, or kipster....so when I saw in our newspaper that there was a cat site named catster, I looked it up.
Ha ha ha ha
I had fun.
So maybe the kipster will be on catster!

and there were other fun ones I have yet to check out.....so here is my disclaimer....I am not sure that their content is God glorifying...but I know they are meant to be humorous.

www.careerbuilder.com/monk-e-mail
www.stupidvideos.com
www.cuteoverload.com
www.mycathatesyou.com
www.boingboing.com


and it is my birthday today. 41 feels horrid! I have felt miserable the last couple of days. Little sleep at night, had to take naps, allergy feeling through the day, today I have a headache that is very very mild but incessant and irritating--I just want to shake it, but the mega solution of 8 ibubrofen hasn't knocked it out!
and I don't even have any good meds.
dang.

So I'll go for the bath later, and I am trying deep breathing and praying (not praying too well, but I know God is Good)

Julie came over! I was so glad since I wasn't likely to make it there.

If you didn't see my photos, email me and I'll forward them, but everyone on my blog is on my kodakgallery.


thanks Amy for the totally awesome birthday gift of a worship CD!

and Julie brought me white roses, my fave!
(among several other gifts thanks!)

and mom has given me several things here and there and said, "That's for your birthday!" but I made her give me her old scale that she was throwing away and said it was for my birthday. heh-heh.

My praying ladies gave me great gifts last week, too.
I may actually go to coffee before leaving this week.

we get the truck tomorrow.

We've got everything downstairs to be loaded in.

yikes!
long drive!

Sunday Sept 3

Tomorrow I turn 41. Right now I am SO TIRED! The fatigue and anxiety of the move are a physical reality in my body. Presently, my mind is still good. Sometimes, though, I have that feeling like "I need a break!"....K was feeling this as he awaits word about his job opportunity. I reminded him to really relax when he had the chance. Take a deep breath and relax.
So I am taking my own advice.
I have a sort of an overwhelmed feeling, but I know to keep moving forward in spite of it. God provides the grace, I can choose to believe and receive it or I can lay on the floor and whine and nothing will get done. Easy decision today.

I'm going to bring all the stuff down from an upstairs room and stack it in the dining to prepare for loading the truck on Tuesday.
I just remembered that I was considering having friends over.
I'll have to think that through.

I have had such a nice time SEEING PEOPLE and I know I'll see people up north, but not THESE people.
and I do just fine when we only get together every few months, so it should not be any big deal, but it feels like these relationships could slip away across five years and I do not want to let it happen. Sometimes it happens anyway.
In this busy society where we commute across town to do anything---it is difficult to arrange meeting together.
and sometimes I hear the quote, "If you are too busy than you are TOO busy" as if everyone should have time for whatever the speaker thinks you ought to do----but it is not true.

I am SO OFTEN very very very busy making sure I am NOT too busy by guarding my time at home. Thus, I am too busy for everyone else, but my home life is peaceful and loving. That is how I try to run my home.
Now my baby girl will truly have a mother who is too busy. and I am grieved.

Today at lunch we mentioned how she'd need to be in by midnight. She realized we would both be gone for more than a week. She wondered how she'd get help doing all the homecoming stuff.
But mom will be here.

My friend Julie is coming over with her husband and children.
I better go prepare a bit more. Maybe I'll have some pictures to put on here!

If you were an angel

If you were an angel standing watch over me, this is what I would look like.....


.....my friend Juanita took this picture---thanks Juanita! (you're an angel!.....figuratively speaking)
:-)


If there is one thing I appreciate, it is Juanita and Debbie and Dora! (oh wait, that is THREE!) My three friends went with me to a cabin for 24 hours where we fellowshipped and prayed and worshipped and chatted and laughed. You ladies are the BEST!!

See the smile on my face? I appreciate those who make time for me! My love language is attention, I love to be talked to and listened to---Woo Hoo! We did it up right.

And it is so rough that in this day and age we are so cut off from each other in our lives. We have to build communities. Relationships are no longer about proximity.

In fact, MY WONDERFUL FRIEND AMY who actually lives quite close to me is someone I rarely see now that I've changed churches. and that is the most horrible part about changing churches!
The ones you LOVE!
because we tend to see those who are in the circle we are existing in........those outside those circles fall by the wayside.
Let it not be so.
As I move away from dear friends.........I dread losing touch. Their lives will all go on busily as mine narrows into a small island of isolation. God will be there, and I will learn to rely even more on Him. I will spend time with Him.

But my friends that have moved away---Elaine, Allison, Cindy, Anita, Dawn, others. We rarely communicate because of distance and lack of current common ground. (sniff sniff)
Even those of you still here (oh, but if you are reading my blog---LOVE TO YOU MY FRIEND!)
(.....and love to YOU Dad----cause my Dad reads fairly regularly! Thanks Dad!)

and off the subject, Juanita is so dear to me---she told me she RE-read my poem from my blog! OK, major brownie points with me!! (not that we'll get to redeem those somehow--but maybe)

Wait!
I wanted to write about the retreat because Amy said she'd check my blog.

Amy was going to come with us but then her husband had to go to San Antonio to help move his parents because they are around 70 and he's still a young strong under 40. Well, she was checking on her little ones indoors (Caleb 3, David 1) when her big ones......Joshua (7?) and Hannah (5?) were jumping on the trampoline and they tried one of the illegal stunts they've worked on----and whoops! Hannah's chin crashes into the back of Joshua's skull and off they must go to the emergency room for STITCHES---yes, double emergency room co-pay on that one.
We missed you, AMY! But I'm glad you were there to mother those babies!

D, D, J and me got out of town around 3. We stopped at Starbucks in San Marcos (yes, I drink coffee now, finally old enough....I think). We drove around San Marcos a while looking for a certain grocery store and got to see some of the Texas State campus. Nice scenery, too.

Then we got to our cabin....We got there right before a big thunderstorm. The wind was kicking up the leaves and the ions in the air were fabulously stimulating! My hair was getting blown in 30 directions and I ran out to the fence to look across the pasture and see the majesty of a deluge! Oh, but once the big drops came, I ran back to the cabin before I was drenched. With a tin roof, we could hardly hear to talk--that was pretty fun.

So I think we got out some food. We had tons of stuff! Salmon! turkey, ham, hard boiled eggs, graham crackers/milk, lettuce, olives..........well, tons of stuff.
We ate whenever we wanted to and only had to fix our own (the other ladies have more children than I do---I've never had more than four). We went down to the river after the rain. We talked in the clubhouse. We came back and talked into the night. We prayed together until midnight.
In the morning, Mr called me at 7. Juanita figured she could get up if I did. We ate some breakfast and the others got up too. Debbie went swimming and I went out there and prayed at the pasture. Dora tried swimming but there were serious bugs in the hot tub. When she turned on the jets, tons of bugs came out---YUK!
So we played some worship music and did our own things together. Sometimes some took walks while others got ready, some ate, some were reading the Bible, some journaling, it was really wonderful.
We had hoped to stay until 3, but we had to be out by noon. So we packed up and explored the rest of the property by car then drove along the River Road to Gruene. We took the really long way to Gruene so we saw New Braunfels, too.
I took pictures at one stop when Debbie suggested we stop the car so I could take some. Well, that was just what I needed! Hooray! I love taking photos in nature (I only sent out a few, but I took hundreds).

Whew! Mr comes home from Brazil tomorrow, so I didn't go to church tonight, as much as I wanted to.....I knew I might be tired tomorrow if I didn't quietly get everything back in order before he got home. I want to be rested to help HIM rest. He'll be tired.
I had a nice retreat, but he's been working.
My trip was restorative, but his was taxing.
and all those flights! Oh, he does NOT like flying. (beats walking, though)
and he was in economy, so he'll be stiff from being cramped up for 12 hours.

Blessings to everyone. I miss everyone already. Shoot, I miss myself! I will not be able to be how I've been while on summer break. It has been fantastic.

We'll soon see how whiny I am----or if I am strong and courageous!

which reminds me that they gave me gifts! I think I've gotten more gifts this year than ever. My friends are really gift givers. I'm really TRYING to be---it is not my strongest point, for sure.
THANK YOU EVERYONE BECAUSE I LOVE TO FEEL LOVED AND YOU'VE MADE IT HAPPEN!!!!!
Congratulations to Cindy Tyler, who now has a Masters in Biology---Way to Go, Woman!

My baby

Yes, this is my oldest child.
Child?
He is definitely a man.
All of my children are so grown up!
It is an interesting stage of life.
When I can go to my children who know more than me on this or that subject.
I go to K for insurance questions, technology questions, anything with electronics.

I say that if the machines become sentient, I'm in good hands because they love him.
If something is acting up, sometimes I just ask him to come near the machine,
they seem to bask in his glow.
It is somewhat akin to worship.
I do not dare tell them that he is not their maker.
They seem content to do as he commands, joyfully.

I, however, can sit at a machine and ask it to do one thing, using proper procedure, to no avail.
When he comes and does the same thing, it works.
That is beyond the range of explanation.
But I am thankful for it!
I praise God that He has put such a one in my family.
He is a tremendous blessing.

Really like pics

Doesn't THIS look cozy? MMMmmmm.

I really like pics, so I was browsing through mine. First I found a heritage pic with N's birth mommy and she is with her paternal grandfather. Then a picture of all his children. The first one by the first wife is the father of N's birth mommy. Then a girl and boy by a second wife, then a boy and a girl by a third wife (and fourth, since they married twice) and then a step daughter by a fifth wife. That is plenty of children! So then that was too heavy to put on here. So I was thinking of sticking a jokey one. But no, I came across this! and it is no joke. Perhaps I will see this particular place. I'll let you know.

But since I like Pictures AND WORDS.....I thought I'd add some text in here........... from thesaurus.com
Main Entry: inherent
Part of Speech: adjective
Definition: basic
Synonyms: built in, characteristic, congenital, connate, constitutional, deep-rooted, deep-seated, distinctive, elementary, essential, fixed, fundamental, hereditary, immanent, implicit, inborn, inbred, inbuilt, indigenous, indispensable, individual, indwelling, ingrained, inherited, innate, inner, instinctive, integral, integrated, internal, intimate, intrinsic, inward, latent, native, natural, original, resident, subjective, unalienable
Antonyms: acquired
Notes: the word innate means 'inborn' and should apply to living things; inherent is 'essential, intrinsic' and applies best to nonliving things like ideas

Main Entry: inner
Part of Speech: adjective 2
Definition: mental
Synonyms: central, concealed, deep-rooted, deep-seated, emotional, esoteric, essential, focal, gut*, hidden, individual, inherent, innate, inside, interior, internal, intimate, intrinsic, intuitive, inward, personal, private, psychological, repressed, secret, spiritual, subconscious, unrevealed, visceral, viscerous

Main Entry: life
Part of Speech: noun 3
Definition: being
Synonyms: animal, animateness, animation, body, breath, consciousness, continuance, creature, endurance, entity, essence, existence, flesh, growth, human, human being, individual, living, living being, living thing, man, metabolism, mortal, mortal being, organism, person, personage, presence, reproduction, soul, subsistence, substantiality, survival, symbiosis, viability, vital spark*, vitality, wildlife
Antonyms: inanimate object

I mean, those are COOL WORDS! I looked them up when I was looking for a word that mean people or individual so I could find one that started with the letter "t".
Instead, I found all these cool ideas----inherent, inner, and life? Those are profound words. It's like....................oh, I want to write something intellectual after reading those words!
but what do I do? I write this drivel. (it felt good to THINK about writing intellectually though)

Mind Blank but mouth running/fingers typing

You know, when I look at that pudge on my jowels, I just cannot believe it is on me! This is a no make-up picture from back in may. I was looking at a thumbnail sized pic of it and it didn't look as bad when it was that small. Blown up as it is here? well, not too good!
and that nose. gee, thanks Dad.
my little S has a ball on hers too. we wish for pointy type noses but nothing changes.

I have been so busy. I am always busy. what is new? but I am more of a different kind. I have been making sure I am not on the constant go---I make sure there are down times. but I am not getting enough, still.

Yesterday seemed so very busy. I can't even remember it now. It was friday. oh yeah, I went to lunch with gabriela from brazil---in town doing work here and I met her there. Then I came home and prayed for Cindy who was presenting her thesis research---she now has a masters in biology! WAY TO GO!!!!!!!!!!! and I was praying for K who was interviewing at his Dad's company. He has another interview next week.
Then Mr came home and after talking with K, we went to see "Invincible" with K and Mom. It was really good. A 27 tear jerker. I liked it.
Then home and Mr packed for Brazil. Then K came and did some stuff on my computer. (like putting my old pictures all on this new computer and my old documents). Then up this morning to take Mr to the airport.

Then I ..................I cannot even go into how complicated, rushed, crazy and confused everything was for the next hour or more.........but I am home now and settled and I may nap or read.
Later I will go to my friend Christa's housewarming across town and take my mom. Today I saw Brenda and her mom Sandee at Pf Community Church.

tomorrow is church and the evening is actually open. I may rest again actually! Then monday I have an appt. around lunchish, then a dinner with a friend. Tuesday I get my hair done (a three hour ordeal!) and then off to a little town to stay in a cabin with three friends. We are praying, fellowshipping, worshipping and relaxing. Another friend will drive down and visit with us in the evening. That is my birthday present from them. Woo Hoo! I love that one.
Then Wednesday night is church, I cannot wait! I've missed two mid-week services recently and I mourn the loss.

then thursday Mr comes HOME!!! and then after I pick him up from the airport, I go to meet another friend for lunch.
Then Thursday night is actually open! (but i haven't really looked at my calendar, so it might not be.)

There is so much to do, but I've done most of it. The rest has to wait until I am up in my little apartment. I can't imagine how I will be away from him. I miss him right now!

God will show me the way and give me courage. .......and if it just is NOT there---then I'm coming home! However, I know that you don't get the grace you need until you need it, so there is no telling how I'll feel later when I NEED it, for now it seems impossible.
Not the school work, oh man that part sounds so fun and interesting and challenging and stimulating!

But trying to manage a long distance relationship with my husband..............well..........I am really serious about doing the hard work of it, and I do believe we have the strength and maturity----but as I always say......TIME WILL TELL.

Any mouth can talk the talk----but time tells the tale.

(I wanted to create a better phrase like, "any tuna can talk the talk but time tells the tale" except that tuna doesn't exactly fit right there.
Neither does tribe, together, glitterati, or intrinsic, but they do have "t" sounds)

Oh it has been a wonderful summer. I am winding down things and it is all coming together. Mom has retired. She got her party and her parting gift and she is at home waiting on the realitors to come assess her home.

I go up there next week and I'll get to see my friend Cindy! Woo Hoo! Happy birthday girl! and I just have way way too many friends having birthdays right now. Mom, Nell, Camilla, Christa, Norma, Cindy, Mr and S! then me, Amy, her children, Anita--her hubby too, yikes! What a ton!

This is always a busy time for my family, but since S wanted the car to go to school and I was supposed to meet B for lunch but she forgot---I have spent the day in prayer and on the internet looking at sites of prophets and such. People who move in the supernatural. What is really cool is that many of the people who were "cutting edge" in the early 90s are still out there....and many of them are connected! I just learned about Todd Bentley, but he is linked with Jill Austin. There is the Elijah list which had a bunch of people---such as Aslan's place which is linked with plumblineministries.com which I have been promoting recently. I only learned about them in 2000 when Norma took me to a conference. They are all connected with Bill Bright, Haglin, Paul Cain, Rick Joyner, Bill Goll.....just a bunch of familiar names. Even Beth Alves! ( that promted me to look up David Alsobrook who is still ministering).

Anita came talking about prayer rooms and her daughter who is involved in IHOP (international houses of prayer). I've been in prayer frequently and I am so thankful for the opportunity to draw near to God on a break. So many times during school I feel like I am just saying, Oh please God! Give me this or this! and I do not spend any time with Him (not quality time) and He is the Lord of the Universe! But this season of refreshing has been so good for my soul. I feel so revitalized, it will be hard to have it slip away as I get busy.

But I am not one of those do-it-all super women. no, I am sorta regular. God has empowered me to do all I am doing now.....and I am grateful. I know to stay focused. If He's called me to teach in the university, then this will succeed. If not, then I drop it. It is so exciting, though! I am determined to give it my all.

Mr has it in his official file that he desires an overseas assignment within 3 to 5 years---so I've got to be ready. Can you imagine? Teaching in the University in China? Woo Hoo! Actually, I could still teach English there....I have my BA, so they would let me. and so I am already prepared. But we'll see what God does. I am the one always thinking I am going to fail and laying on the floor crying thinking I cannot do it--it is too tortuous (or I am too lazy!) but then here I am all graduated Summa Cum Laude and wow, I sure enjoyed it.

It is funny how people do not expect me to be intelligent since I am so cheery flaky. But I just like to go with that side of my personality. Who wants to be a stick in the mud? (some people do!---they call themselves realists--ha!) Well, I live in reality too, and I live IN FAITH! and I just try to let things slide off of me (most of the time). And now I am working towards a goal. My goal was teaching english in china and perhaps doing Myers Briggs seminars (oh i love it), but now I am trying to teach psychology in the university---what I conceived of when I was 18, but didn't know the word "research". I knew I wanted to study and talk all day about psychology and people. Then in my early 20s, I longed longed longed to be a preacher or missionary. I told everyone about Jesus and how He came to earth to die for us and He came BACK TO LIFE! He is coming again! It was so exciting to me to know God and to feel Him and understand Him even just a little.

But I knew I would never be doing missions with my man. He was not even slightly interested. But that has changed somewhat. He is willing to support me anyway.

But the thing with ministry is this.....you cannot just decide to do some ministry.....it has to be in your life. and I have never been a successful evangelist! My whole natural family does not believe in Jesus Christ as the One True God who created the earth, the three in one. Actually, am not sure where my brother actually stands and my mother is really close.....but has no fruit of regeneration. (however, I stand firm that we cannot always know who is born again. God alone is in charge of who is one with Him.....we cannot judge with earthly wisdom).

So I have been very fruitful as an intercessor (seasons of fruitfulness) and as an evangelist to the heart of the believer (like the Haglins). In the church, I love to lead groups to a deeper call in Christ, to repent, to serve, to love, to forgive. These are tough things for many people! and many who call themselves Christians are not. Yet, they've come in among us and so we have the ability to call out to their hearts! This is my cry.

I want to see the captives set free.

In fact, I'd like to see all those healings and deliverances. I know I cannot manufacture those things but there have been some healings in my life through the laying on of my hands or through prayer. And Mr would like to see God move in this way. It really opens people's eyes to the power of God because it just shocks you out of your natural senses! And the receiver of the healing is always so grateful!

We did have a guy at our church come back from the dead. He died of a heart attack, they took him to the hospital. So all the church prayed and they put him in that cryto--whatever --they froze him. When they warmed him up, he was absolutely fine! He came to church and talked about it. He was pretty stunned. He was not a strong believer prior to that time.

it was hard, though, to see Brandon die. It was the first time I have NOT seen someone healed in that way. Our friend Tim died of cancer, but he really wasn't even praying for healing anymore. He was a very godly man. I really respected him. He really had the love for the saints. True compassion.

anyway, I pray the Lord release me into intercessory ministry up north. He knows I'll have plenty of time to pray. and I'm not getting a TV so there won't be that distraction. But I HAVE to have my computer---there's my real distraction!

But I thank Him for the summer of renewal. Now if I can just get to see four friends who have asked to get together before going. I've seen everyone else for the most part.

Mom comes next week.

N.A.B. my daughter/neice/half-great-neice--LOVED ONE!

The most exciting few hours has passed, but it was great.

N called S yesterday. She was crying. S told her to call me and she did! I was overjoyed!
She was miserable and she wanted to come live with us. That wasn't surprising, but what WAS surprising is that she was fighting with her mother saying she wanted to come live here---and C handed her the phone and said, "Knock yourself out."

so she called.

Well, she's probably going to pay dearly, but what is new? She's been difficult and said she was going to run away---so C was worried that she would do it and be out on the streets.

I won't say anymore except that it was a very strange interaction when I called C. But the Lord gave me such patience and faith. REALLY!
I mean, it was as something had broken in the spirit---and freedom is coming!

So I am encouraged and I will continue to rejoice and be patient. All of this is going to work out, I know it. I did ask to speak with N and told her to hang in there, her day is coming! I would pray for her mood, as I know she was very discouraged. I wish I had said, KEEP PUSHING! but I didn't. So it is likely not the time for that.

Still, things won't be the same. Even N saw the glimmer of hope that was almost in her grasp. If she were here, she could have ALL her family---no restrictions from people who love her. She's been told that her birth mother is not ready to see her yet and that's why she has not met her---BALONEY! If she comes here, we'll contact her mother and her grandfather and we'll say, "Let's all rejoice together!" and she'll be surrounded with love on all sides.

Anyway, God will need to work all of that out. He is able and He is willing and it will come to pass!

Blessings,

Girls traveling today

My baby girls are off galavanting to see their estranged relatives.

I spent too long on Art.com just browsing pics and saving them in kitchen PC picture folder. So maybe I'll try to blog here more before I go.

I suppose I should not get on here if I do not really have anything to say!
I'm thinking of my friend traveling from Wisconsin to Arkansas in a 23 foot rental truck.
I'm praying for her sanity, strength, perserverence and safety. I'm so glad her daughter is making the trip with her. Her Dad went up there to help as well. So she's also got her son with her. One son is staying in Chicago and one son is staying in Wisconsin. One son will be staying with her. I cannot remember if he is in the 10th or 11th grade. He is 9mos younger than S. So he is about 16 and she is about to turn 17. (my baby!)

My friend Anita is coming and I cannot wait to see her and give her a big hug! We can go to my church service tomorrow night, then doc on thurs AM then my coffee friends, then my church membership class thurs night, then we can do something else on Friday morn. I'll have to think it up. I've got the guest room clean (thanks Mr.)

I am thinking I should get a red ruby slippers magnet for my fridge up there.
(There's no place like home, There's no place like home)---Elaine would like that one!

Reading Youth Aflame by Winkie Pratney.....sure is a good one!
and Lord, Give Me a Heart for You by Kay Arthur---a Bible Study on 2 Corinthians.
and of course, the Bible.


Had K make a yearbook page for S, would like to post it, but I'll send it by email to friends instead.

I pray that we live a life worthy of the Lord, please Him in every way, grow in the knowledge of God. I pray our love abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight so we can discern what is best and be pure and blameless. I am thankful that we can come before the throne boldly to receive mercy in our time of need. He has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son He loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

I also ask for a higher paying job for my friend's husband (and their seven children). I pray that the family at camp be refreshed, renewed, and revived and are given special endurance for this season in their life and a blessing on their marriage, I pray that my mom friends are able to set aside time to read, mediate on the word and pray to the Lord and even to listen for Him. Center us and focus us Lord! I pray that my friend who wants to move to the Northwest would find things coming together and that they would be able to get their house in order and prepare for a move. I pray for employment there and smooth transitions.

This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it!

Lord you are good and your mercy endureth forever

I was listening to the song by New Breed and Israel, "Lord you are good and your mercy endureth forever....people from every nation and tongue, from generation to generation--we worship you! Hallelujah, Hallelujah..we worship you, for you are good."
It's very uplifting and active.....I think it loses a bit of that energy in type---but it is there. God is good!

Today I have done a thousand things. My mother also, who has just put in for her retirement. My daughters, as they travel over 400 miles to see their cousinsister. My son is still in process for his apartment and said he was going to be studying--he's left to see his friend, though. He's going to make a yearbook page for me today for S's senior yearbook. I still haven't quite come up with something catchy to say in that---I have a couple of quotes and/or a couple of scriptures and then the usual "We love you, You will always be our baby but you've grown into a lovely woman" that sort of thing. I want it to be SPECIAL, but I am not poetic enough. I am at times, some kind of mood has to come over me and I'm not in it. That's okay. We tell her we love her daily. Told them today, hugged them big. God carries them. I'm aware of how fragile life is and I am thankful for them. I hope I will have a chance at reconciliation with N's family. Maybe sing Kumbaya?

I have packed a ton and there is more to go. It is hard to leave stuff---to pack HALF. I don't know what I'll need exactly, but I sure will NOT need all that I have. The Bible says that a man's life does not consist in the abundance of things----also that we should not store our treasure up here. So today I thought.....ok---no rental storage for me! ha! Reduces that decision, right!

I've been going back and forth on getting a storage, but I know what people do---they continue to spread out beyond the need---and I don't want to go there. I want to minimize my stuff, like my Dad. I think they make sure they NEED what they keep and are very choosey. I want to do that too. It is hard to let go of things sometimes though. I have a million photos. How to decide which ones I don't need? I decided I need them all. Time helps to sort through them. If you cannot remember who that is in the picture--then it is better to toss it. Sure, you may lose a relic, but you won't puzzle the next generation, either! I want to prepare stuff for my children to pass along.

Looking forward to my friend Anita coming from up North.

Saturday Morning Sunshine

trying to get ready for school.

went to office max and bought supplies (love that store)

got some groceries.

L is going to have to learn to live on a budget! Pray for a miracle please

Down at the kitchen computer because it is so hard to go upstairs to type! ha ha

I keep going back and forth on getting a storage. If K is moving out (not til sept 15), then I will give mom 2 rooms and I will still have a room---so that is where the storage will go.

I wish I'd be here so when L moves out (aug 15) I could unload the rest of her room to the dump! Man, she is messy and cluttered and so is K---when mom comes, she is going to have to minimize that in her rooms (please God).

Mr is going to maybe lay some wood floors and paint some. We'll have to totally reconstruct S's room because she has pictures and magazine photos all over her walls, plus anything else she wanted to stick on there. But the walls are purple underneath that. She wanted purple, she wanted purple and she wanted purple. I relented and then she hated purple. Who wouldn't? The room is depressing that dark, uhg.

So she's got to go back to light and airy! and she wants to, she's asking to, that's good.

I have 1000 details to attend to. It is making me crazy, but not. Slowly but surely, it will work. But dang, rough!

and S will need so much money this year for senior year.

and I won't be here to take pics! But I bet I will take them whenever I am home! I was working it out on the calendar--I will hardly be home at all! We are purchasing flights right now. We have some credits from Expedia from the cancelled Omaha flights because Brandon died and we didn't go play volleyball there. That was 1000 dollars worth of tickets! and then I purchased the wrong dates for the SPSP conference in Palm Springs in January and there was no way to get there on such short notice because the conference flights were all booked! Completely! I was so upset that day. But I ordered them when I was working on all those grad school applications, so I was probably on detail overload.

Let's hope I don't get detail overload this year!

Blessings, I'm off here. Guess this entry wasn't worth much, but I just recently got up and my brain isn't quite working yet.

:-)